#007: Unleashing Creative Potential with Sydney May: Community, Courage, and Collaboration

I'm going to really have to find the people that I like gel with because Booker t had been so monumental for me and all of a sudden, not only in the dance community, but I had like stumbled upon some other artsy folk. And I was like, this is where it's at. I love this. And that's when I thrive. I thrive when surrounded by people that are also excited about life that are also excited about exploring, also excited about just working hard and seeing what happens, trying to push ourselves. I love, I love creativity. I love determination and I love, I don't know, I just love people who love life. It's so fun. Hey, I'm Maddox and I'm Dwight and we just want to welcome you to the, for The Love of Creatives Podcast. We have a very special guest today and I say that because this beautiful human being that I'm about to introduce you to. I have known her since she was 15 years old and she's just a very special person in my life and she's also a very talented creative and I won't tell you exactly what she does yet. I'm gonna let you tell, let her tell you that. So with no further ado, I want you guys to meet Sydney May. Hello, welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for having me. Well, tell us a little bit about you. Well, um I am a Dallas native and I'm a professional ballerina and I have been professional for the past 77 years, I would say, um grew up in Dallas, went to Utah for college to do some more training in ballet dance a little bit in New York and then moved back to Dallas around the pandemic and my career has been here ever since. Wonderful. So I guess my first question to get started off is um what was it that initially way back there? Maybe as a wee child, what was the thing that inspired you and, and made, you know, that you wanted to do something creative, even if you didn't really know what it was in that moment. Yeah, I mean, I would go so far as to say I made no choices. Um You know, you put little girls in ballet and that's what my mom did. Um And I think we moved around a lot when I was a kid, but I'm as far as I know I've been dancing since I was about three. You know, it's kind of like the youngest you can be. And my earliest recollection of my dance classes was me swimming on the floor. Um on my stomach. Like not, I don't think I always knew what was going on as a child, but what child ever does. Um, but yeah, we moved around a lot and everywhere we went I was always put in dance classes again and I must have wanted to at some point because I think I would have said no, you know, as a kid. Um But yeah, I think there was only one time in my life where I thought I might have taken a step back. But then after only a month of thinking that I was like, mom, no, like I can't stop, I can't stop. Um So it's kind of been a constant in my life. I don't think I've ever really questioned it very much. And I guess technically the, the beginning of it was not conscious, but I think the rest of it has been and it's definitely been the most constant thing in my life for as long as I can remember. So, was there a particular moment that you remember when it went from something that mom had you doing to OMG? This is my thing. Yes. Actually, I think I was nine and I had missed a ballet class and when I went to um the studio that I grew up at City Ballet, if you missed a class, you could make up a class in whatever level was available for when you could come. And so I made up a ballet class with the older girls and they were on point and I was like, what is this? Like, I had no idea. I had no idea what point was at the time. But as a nine year old, I was like, I can keep up with these people and I think I can do it. And I remember the head of the studio at the time, her name was Denise. Um She came in and like, watched me for a second and she was like, I think you could try this. And then her daughter Evelyn, who was my primary teacher was like, let's just see how strong your ankles are. And so I took another class I think, and I did everything that they were doing on point but on flat, which is just like the normal ballet slippers and I guess my ankles looked good enough and she put me on point the next week. Um, and I joined the first point class and I think at that point was one of the points that I was like, I don't know if I love ballet, maybe I'll try something else. But then once that happened, I was like, I have to have all of it all the time. Like give me as many classes as I can. And I got my first pair of point shoes at nine, which is definitely too young. I don't recommend that, but I'm fine. Um So yeah, I think around the time that point, shoes were introduced was when I got like the major bug. Major bug. So can't live without it now. Wow. I, I, yeah, and I just want to add, I have seen you on stage. I've lost count on how many performances there's been a few I have seen and they have all been amazing. Absolutely amazing. You have truly a gift. Thank you so much. It's a gift to me I feel um because I, my sister and I are very different. Um And she and I used to joke about how I never really had to find my passion. It's just like always been here and she did for a while was she was just kind of looking and was felt kind of lost about it. And so I do, I recognize how much of a privilege it is to have your passion for a long time because I think it takes some people a very long time. So I feel very fortunate that I accidentally stumbled into one of the best parts of my life. Um So I feel very grateful. Yeah, I think some people never find it. Unfortunately. I think that's true too. But yeah, and now as you describe what this experience has been like, always having that inner knowing, always having your path planned for you. Have there been moments where you've had to overcome challenges? Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes. Um I don't think it's a secret that ballet is a very demanding art form and it definitely comes with a lot of pressures and stressors not only physically but mentally. And um I think the first time that I really started to feel the stress of the dance world, I, I gratefully, my studio city ballet that I grew up at was not very uh we didn't compete, we didn't go to competitions or anything. So it was very um intimate training. Like the classes weren't too big and I was very close with my director. So it didn't feel stressful. There were definitely hard parts of the technique, but I didn't feel like, oh gosh, like I have to be something. It was just like, no, I have to do what I have to do and like we'll do it. But when I went to Booker T which was the best thing I ever did, let me just like lay that down. Um It became a competitive atmosphere which is natural when you put a bunch of talented kids together. There's gonna be comparison for the first time in my life because I, I'm not trying to sound any type of way, but I was probably at the top of my class at my studio. So I never thought like, oh, like I need to be like her. I was just like doing my thing and I had no idea. But then when you went to Booker T I was definitely in the middle of the pack there were people better than me. People that I thought may not have been where I was at. Um But yeah, once I got to booker, t you definitely started to feel a lot of things. Like I, that was the first time I was aware of my body because I was like, oh, like ballerinas are supposed to look some type of way. Like, maybe I need to think about my body. I was a twig. I was like 13 years old. You don't have to think. But I was like the first time I was like, oh, like that's a thing. OK. Um And it was also the first time that I had encountered a lot of different styles of dance, which I was not good at. I had only really done ballet for most of my life. Um So that was the first time that the not so pretty parts of dance training came in, but they didn't stop me. It was just like something to be aware of and move through. Um And then I went to college and that was also kind of a trying time because I just for a second for the, for the benefit of the listeners. Tell them what Booker T is. Oh, sure. Best thing ever. Um Booker T Washington High School for the performing visual arts is a wonderful magnet school in Dallas, Texas. Um Basically, it's a public school, but it's a magnet school. So you do have to audition and apply to get in um based on your talent and your grades, you are granted a spot or not. Um And I was able to take half of my day as performing classes. Like I would take my freshman year dance was in the morning. So I would like wake up, throw a bun leotard, go to school. Um So I would take a ballet class in the morning, maybe a second one. Right after and then the second half of my day was all academics. So it was kind of like the perfect blend of the arts and academics. Um And I was surrounded by wonderful peers and extraordinary faculty. Um And I definitely think that that made me the dancer that I am today. There is no way it, it expanded my horizons exponentially through both um experience and just perspective. I met so many people saw so many things, performances. We had master classes from people that I now consider like the creme de la creme of the arts. So, yeah, it was a very special and unique experience as a 13 to 17 year old girl. And, and I, I this is an assumption on my part, but I know that you went to private school prior to Booker T and I'm wondering, was it a big switch in the way of just being more diversity at Booker T where you got exposed to things that you would have never been exposed to in private school, 100% racially in particular. Yes, racially, culturally, truly, like sexuality, religiously, like everything was so diverse. Um And I loved it right away. I think, respectfully, I grew very sick of my private school friends, not all of my friends, but there is the community felt um not quite my speed. I didn't really feel like I fit in there and I didn't really know why I was just like, so excited about Booker T and I had, there was a girl named Madison who went to Booker T who went to my studio. And I was like, I want to be like her. I like this. I wanna do that. And so then that was my um initial transition to a different world. Um So thank God for her honestly. Um But yeah, it was definitely a huge shift. I mean, Dallas is very Dallas. There's lots of money here. Things get segregated. It is not fair but it is what it is. Um So private school was very sheltered, very um homogeneous. And I don't think I realized that until later in my life because when I went to Booker T I was like, everyone's so cool. This is amazing. I used to run around my house and scream, I love my school. Um You can ask my mom about that. It was pretty funny. Um But yes, so the answer, the short answer is yes, it was a huge shift. But I relished it. I loved it so much. So, just felt more human, you know, just more stuff all around. You can learn so much from everyone. And I think that was the first time that I was able to, like, feel how deeply environment and community affected the individual. Mhm. Because I felt so different being there. So, yeah, it sounds like it, it was such a, a rich community and the in the respect that and your exposure to so many different things, you got to explore a little bit of yourself. Um What have you carried forward with you as you've uh moved on through your education and your career? Yeah, I mean so much, I think so much of it is probably subconscious because I do feel like my essence was not like changed but like enhanced. Like I, I felt like I turned from a seed into like this thing, whatever it is. I don't know, some plant grew um in high school. Um So I definitely feel like a lot of that will feel subconscious or I'm maybe unaware of many of the changes that occurred because they just kind of became the fabric of who I am. But the first thing that I can definitely say is that my time management skills were iconic my whole life because it was wild to be there because not only did you have all of your academic classes but you had your dance classes and I still went to a studio during high school. So I would do my high school day, then I would go to studio at night and then sometimes I would even have rehearsal for something at Booker t before I went to the studio. And so it was like a matter of really time managing to make sure I still had good grades. You know, I needed those good grades. I needed to do well in my dance classes. So time management was a huge thing. Um Kind of recognizing the inherent value in everything is definitely something that I've taken away because I mean, I'll reiterate just like the intense, not intense, maybe intense, sure why not intense, the diversity, the um perspective that I was able to just like be a part of without anything being like, it wasn't necessarily like here's something new. It was just like everything around me all the time was special and different and, you know, we had all the different types of musicians, all different types of dancers, like they were dancers in my class that were like Irish step dancers like it was crazy. There was just like so much of everything and it was like, you wouldn't see this in a normal day to day life, you know. Um So I think that just seeing everyone here and realizing how special it was to be there and also realizing that I was a part of something so special, just made me kind of feel like there was inherent value in everything and that there was something special in everyone, everyone had something to bring. And I think that, and I don't know, maybe I've always had that. I'm not sure. I would like to think that I've always seen the good in people, but I think that especially just being surrounded by so many different kinds of people and so many different kinds of craft. Um Yeah, it just opened my, it opened my, my mind so much and I think that I've carried that openness through the rest of my life so far. And hopefully I just keep that forever because I think it's the best. So that's beautiful. Well, I wanna revisit for a minute. You talked about some of the challenges that you went through in school. But what would you say as a professional dancer? What has been the, the one challenge, the, the, the one thing that's really been like and it may be something that you're still working on. That's OK too. But just, you know, the that thing. Yeah, I mean, there are physical challenges and there are mental challenges and I would go so far to say the mental challenges fuel the physical challenges. So I think that my biggest challenge throughout my entire career through education and profession has been um believing in myself. And that sounds so cliche, but it is, it's so impossible to describe how good you can be. I mean, it's just like the imposter syndrome, like everyone has it. But like, es especially in a dance form, I think because it is a physical art form, finding challenges in the classroom in an immature mind can translate to your person being challenged as well. Like it, it was hard for me for a while to separate how I performed to who I was as a person. So if I had a bad day in the studio, I would like go into kind of a dark place and be like, I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy like I'm messing up so much. I shouldn't even be here. Um And there were times I'm, I run anxious as a person and so I would overthink one mistake for hours, hours and that's just ridiculous, but it was so real for me for so long. Um And I'm open with this. I struggled with mental health anxiety mostly um very strongly for a while and I only recently in the last few years um have really felt like I came on top of that with a lot of help thankfully. Um And it was, yeah, I think just believing in myself and understanding that the more you believe in yourself, the better you do. I didn't understand that. I just thought, oh, if I just keep working and working, I'm a, I was a perfectionist. I still kind of am, but I'm in a healthier place with that now. Um I just kind of thought like if I turns have never been my BFF, I love a doggy moving slow, big lines, big legs, love that. But turns, I don't love them. They scare me whatever I can do them, but I kind of hate them. No big deal. Um But if there was a day where we did a variation in class, which is like a um so in the ballet world, there's like a canon, a classical canon. So there are ballets that the choreography is the same all the time. And so as students, we would learn variations which are little solos for women and men, but we learned the female ones um from the canon. So we would do a solo and we would learn it all together, we'd practice it and some of those have a lot of turns and so I messed up those turns. I would lose it. I would lose it like mentally, I would, it would implode. I would never explode. I would implode which is good and bad, I guess. I don't know. Um But yeah, so I just think that it took me a really long time and unfortunately, a lot of external validation which took a while to come because you have to work, you have to work. Um But there was a period of time where I, if I messed up a turn, I would try it over and over and over for probably 20 minutes. And it would only get worse because I was getting tired, you know. So it's, and it would, and I would just think to myself if you would just do it, if you would just do it, you could be fine. Like you can go home, you can leave the studio, just get this turn. Um, and thankfully I've gotten over that because it never was good. It never worked because I would get more frustrated, my body would get tired, it would not get better. And then I would just like, it would just be again and again and again and it was just, it was toxic, a toxic habit that I had built to earn some semblance of control. You said, correct me if I'm wrong. Internal validation, external, external. OK. I'm sorry. That's why. So what do you think it was that enabled you to really believe in yourself? What was that thing? Because I think this is a really important talking point because we, no matter what our creativity, we all struggle with this one thing. And so hearing how one person managed to like, make that jump and believe in themselves and see how that paid off. This is really, this is an important part right here. Absolutely. And I think it is important to note that and I don't know if this is true for all art forms. I think that dance can be so rigid sometimes in what it accepts as good. Um because there is a technique, you know, and of course, in music, there's also a tech, there's techniques for everything. Um But in dance, it's so based on who's at the front of the room. And if they like you and if they like your dancing and you might be great to someone else, but your director might just like, not like you very much and that's a bummer. But unfortunately in dance, especially in college, to be honest, we were graded on dance. So I would get an a or, you know, we would get ABC D based on how we were doing in class, regardless of how hard we were working. Um And thankfully, I was all, I, I was fine. I got good grades but there was always that little like it's so dependent on how they think I'm doing. And so it's kind of a weird cycle and I, I'm sure this is in all art forms. But for me, the only one I truly know is dance. Um to hold on to someone else's idea of you as a checkpoint of how you're actually doing. So for a long time, I could not even if I get because we have mirrors, you know, there are mirrors in every studio. You watch yourself dance, you correct yourself, they correct you. Um, it's all about what can you do better? What can you do better? What can you do better? Um And probably until I graduated college maybe even longer, a little longer. I still felt like the only way that I could feel validated was if somebody at the front of the room told me a good job and that's difficult because if you and I think, I don't know who told me this. So I can't truly give credit and I will paraphrase anyway. Um But if you are constantly looking for someone else to fill your hunger, you will always be hungry. You have to feed yourself. And that took me a long time to understand, especially I think it didn't help that through the pandemic. I was dancing by myself in my house, you know, for a long time, keeping up the practice, but there was no one there to be like, oh well done or this is what you can fix. It was all on me. And I think that might have been a turning point for me because I felt progress without a mirror without a teacher. Um And I got hired that summer professionally for the first time, second time, but first time out of college um and being there and getting roles even as a new dancer getting opportunities. Um I was able to feel like regardless of how I did I was worthy because not every day is going to be feel like a good day. Your body is always changing, whether you're sick, tired, hungry, like whatever, it's always gonna feel different. Um But I always put in as much as I could into every day and slowly but surely that was paying off consistently. Um And I think that that and also having friends who are very supportive in the company, we have a great group of girls um who hold each other up and keep each other in their toes in a good way. Um So yeah, it's definitely been a process and I'm definitely still moving through it. I've been grateful to have come to a point in the company where I am getting lead roles more often. And that is also very validating because you get one and you're like, oh gosh, this has to go well, because my first one and if she doesn't think I do good, I'm not going to get another one. So thankfully, the first one went well. And so I've gotten another and another. And so that is also very validating to see that the work that I've been putting in since I was, you know, nine has amounted to something beyond me because I also feel settled in myself for a while. It's, it's again, taken some time, but I feel good about myself. And ironically, then the good thing started coming. So you have to wonder, would it have been different if I had conquered some demons sooner? But we all are on timeliness. Say that again. What you just said, that was so brilliant. You can paraphrase it even. You don't have to recap this is a really important point right here. Yeah, I, I um ironically feel that because I was settled in myself and proud of what I was doing as a dancer. That's when the external validation started really coming. Once my internal self was settled and satiated with my efforts and my personal success, my external world matched that. And I think that that's probably the secret. That's not a coincidence at all. I agree. Not even a little bit. The, the world follows our cue, you know, can finally validate yourself, then everybody else will. Yes. And I also think um and it's weird because I feel some level of um not shame, maybe a little bit of embarrassment to admit that. It took me getting my first lead role here. So that's this calendar year to feel like I feel so at peace in a strange way, it's kind of hard to explain. I'll give an anecdote. I um I also teach a lot. I love it. Um But I've been teaching summers at the University of Utah summer intensive which is I went to school at the University of Utah and they brought me back to not only teach but also be an R A for these sweet teenage kids um who are, you know, fighting to be where I am where my other ras are because usually the ras are professional dancers, which is fun because all the kids are like, how did you do it? How did you do it? And we're like, we don't know what just happened. Um But so this summer there was a sweet girl, sweet, sweet, sweet girl and she was so kind and so gentle and very quiet and she would spend a lot of time by herself. So I would keep an eye on her because I was like, I know you, I see you, you are me. I will watch you. I got you. And she, I could see her in classes shutting down if something wasn't working. And I was like, I know this, I know this type. I know it. And on the very last day and I, I always was telling her like you're doing better than you think it feels bad. It looks good. I promise things feel hard, but they always amount to be better. Just keep going, just keep going. I would keep an eye on her. On the very last day her mom came to pick her up when we were talking and walking because I was helping them move out and everything. And her mom was like, oh, like we loved having you as an R A like you're a beautiful dancer. I was like, oh thank you so much. And her mom was like, we just need her to believe that she's as good as she is. And I was like, girl, let me tell you something. As soon as you believe that you are good, you will completely shoot up and she was like, oh, and I was like, yeah, you have to believe it in order for it to be real. And at that moment I was like, oh, that's what happened to me, you know? It was crazy. It was like a weird, yeah, I was like, oh, my gosh, I taught myself something on accident. Um, but another thing that I noticed during my time because that was my fourth year being an R A. So it's interesting to go back to the same place. Do the same thing after a year has passed. It's always a checkpoint, you know, you can kind of check in and it was with the same people. Thankfully, our little R A squad has like continued to show up. So we're very close, we spend a month together every summer. Um and to be around them, felt different. And I was like, that's interesting. And after a while a couple weeks, I was like, wait, I feel like so confident and not that I wasn't confident before because they've always been good friends to me. I never felt like I had to be something or be someone, but I felt so much more like outgoing and I felt like I could be even goofier than normal. I don't know, something shifted in me this year. And I think it also was a reaction of having an injury last fall. This is just like I could talk forever basically. I had an injury last fall that took me out for eight weeks and it was horrible. I was, I couldn't, basically, my AC L was partially torn so it was very high risk. It was thankfully not fully torn. So I didn't have to get surgery, but it did take me out like I couldn't walk too much. I couldn't stand too much because anything could have severed it. So I had to be very careful for a long time. But then when I started to get better and I started to be able to do physical therapy and I was able to even do like just like cycling at the gym, like something that gave me a little bit of movement. I was so empowered and I was like, oh, this is on me like I have to make this happen for myself. And then once I got back to dancing, it felt like such a gift. Sometimes it really takes, I mean, it's the classic thing, like, you don't know what you have till it's gone. But I know that I've been injured before, like it's just like a, you know, it's a little cycle that you get and sometimes the feeling of appreciation can be more temporary than it should be. Um But I came back with this new found, like I was so ready and there was a role that I really, really wanted that was coming in the spring and I had thought at the time that when my knee was hurt, I was like, oh, it took me out. I'm, there's no way. There is no way. And then all of a sudden I was back and I was like, oh, maybe, who knows? And so I just like, I was in my own lane, didn't worry about anything. So I was like, I'm just happy to be dancing, period. I am happy to be dancing. I am happy to be working. Um And then all of a sudden, I was better than I was before and I think that I came back smoothly because of how much pt I had been doing, how much I had invested in myself. And it really felt like I had blinders on because there was no comparison to have. I didn't care about how anybody else was doing because nobody else had had a knee injury that year. So it was like this is all me, this is just me. So I was very in my own lane and I think that was a big shift for me and even my director when we had our meeting, she was like something changed when you came back. And I was like, I felt it too. I felt it too. You know, I just want to acknowledge your amazing wisdom for your age. OMG you have, you are so far along on the path, not that we want to compare, but truly, there are people who live their lives out and never, ever get some of the stuff that you have and you are 26. Is that correct? Yes. Yes. There's another thing that I've been hearing in your voice here and we've danced all around it. You've danced all around it and I want to call it out and, and just tease it out and talk a little bit more about how do you see that community plays a role in your thriving in your growth in, in your process as a creative. Um I think it's huge, huge. Um I mentioned it a little bit about Booker T and that was kind of the first time that I had really felt a huge artistic community when I was only at City Ballet. I felt it in a small way. It was just in the studio that I really found my creative zone. Um But then when I was at Booker, t it was school and it was the studio and it was everything, it was everyone I talked to and to have people that I could relate to bring up questions because it was all new at the time at Booker T, I was a budding artist, like, truly still a seed when I first got there. Um And that carried forward to college as well because once I graduated from Booker T and went to Utah, I was in the school of dance. It was a arts community and I was thankful to also connect with the musical theater department on accident. There's a beautiful story I could tell later. Um But I had found my Booker te colleagues. I was like, oh, because I was a little worried when I went to college, I was like, this is a normal school. Like this isn't like an art school. I'm gonna really have to find the people that I like gel with because Booker t had been so monumental for me. And all of a sudden, not only in the dance community, but I had like stumbled upon some other artsy folk and I was like, this is where it's at. I love this. And that's when I thrive. I thrive when surrounded by people that are also excited about life that are also excited about exploring, also excited about just working hard and seeing what happens, trying to push ourselves. I love, I love creativity. I love determination and I love, I don't know, I just love people who love life. It's so fun. So I think that it's been huge because it doesn't only affect who I talk to. It doesn't only affect like the external stuff, but it actually like affects me. I'm an empath. So I definitely absorb what I'm around. Um And there have been a couple of times in my life where I recognize, oh, I need to find some new people. Not because I don't like the people I'm around, but because it's not enough for me creatively. Um, I say, yeah, I attracted those people when you got off to college and you said, oh, I need to think. And luckily you said I don't think lucky had anything to do with it. I, with all my heart you just in your energy attracted those people. I think that is 100% the case. And I'm so grateful to still call them some of my dearest friends and even my boyfriend. Um But yeah, so the other thing you attracted to you. I know God bless the best but he um and his best friend cam were the two musical theater people that I found. Um and there's still two of the most important people in my life. Crazy. Mhm. Um But to go back to the community aspect, it um 100% is the fuel and fire of what I would say. Any bless you. No, you're fine. We are humans. We sneeze um It is the fuel and fire of any living creative. I think there are creatives that are alive but dead and that's ok. They will find themselves if that is meant to be, if they can fathom it. Um But to have people to bounce off of people to help you grow. We can't, we were not meant I say all the time, we were not meant to be here on our own. No matter what it is that you do, no one can do the whole thing on their own. So I think to have a community, even if it's not like local, like I, I still have people that I call in texts that are all over because of going to school in Utah because of going to Booker t and having people bounce all around the country, doing cool artistic stuff. Um It makes me feel more alive to have connections like that because there is no limit to what you can discover about yourself. Discover about the world, discover about your community or a different community. If you just have people to talk to and share with, I think sharing, sharing is caring but sharing is also like, it's the bread and butter of being an artist. I art is well, art is art no matter what, I don't want to put a box around what art is. But if you don't share art, what's the point? What's the point? Like if you're just gonna have like if I drew a picture like a really cool one, let's say I was like this guy, maybe I drew a really cool thing. It's like put it in my closet. What the heck, what the heck it needs to be shared so that other people can feed off of it. It's like keeping food in the freezer forever. So art is energy. You know, that was, that was what I, I had a client one day. I said to him, you know, I just don't quite get art. I mean, I like it. I look at it but I, I just can't imagine buying an expensive piece of art for my home because it, it doesn't have any function, it doesn't do anything. And he said, you're looking at it all wrong. He said art is energy. Art changes the energy in every space that it's in and it opened my eyes and it was shortly thereafter that I started collecting art, original art, real art, you know, not prints and posters and stuff, but real art. Yes. When I, when I really understood what art is and what it does. Yes, it does change the energy in your life and your space 100%. And I think that I am very lucky to have had parents that also felt that way because I again, in meeting new people in high school and college, you meet 100 bajillion types of people, different backgrounds, different parents, different upbringings of the whole thing. Some of them had still made it that far without having support from home. And that blew my mind because I didn't realize because I, I will say it till the day I die. I have been very fortunate in who I was birth to. Very fortunate. I never had to guess if I had their support. I never had to want for point shoes. I never, it was all I was all taken care of. But I met people in college in my cohort that had to work a full time, maybe part time, but like a job every day just so they could pay for tuition. And I was just, I can barely feed myself like I was so tired all the time just from dancing from 8 to 6. Um So uh yeah, that was also another thing that I recognize through perspective is how privileged I was in my family life and in other ways, of course. Um But to go, I'm looking at this, this was my father's my dad, you know, passed away many years ago. It was his birthday today, happy birthday day. Um It is his birthday today. And um I got an appreciation of art from him for the benefit of our, our listeners. Uh Some may not be able to see, but what uh Sydney was referring to is a print of the creation of Adam by Michelangelo. And uh I, I think it's a perfect illustration of how art is something that isn't art until it's shared completely completely. And this was in his office forever. And I remember just thinking like, oh, that's so cool. That's so cool. And then once he passed and we, we moved a couple of times, my mom was like, what do I do with this? And I was like, give it to me, give it to me. I want it, I want it. Um So I've had it ever since and it's just funny because I put it in the hallway for a while and my sister was like, I don't want that in the hallway and I was like, why? And she was like, I don't know if they're naked and I was like, oh my God. And so I just put it in my room. I love this thing. I love it. Um But yes, he gave me an appreciation for art. I remember he was so um so incredibly supportive of me when I was young and I had just gone on point. So if people don't know about point shoes, they are a beast. I love them. They are the love of my life maybe. Um, but they are a beast, especially when you're first figuring it out. I've gone through so many types of shoes. I'm a free girly now. Frees are the best. But for a long time bouncing around different types of shoes, bouncing around different types of strength in the whatever my dad used to put fiberglass in the box so that the box wouldn't soften because he, he was a handyman. He could do anything, anything. And so he was like, oh, these are dying all the time like they're getting squishy, let me just do something. So he would put fiberglass in my shoes. He would help me, um, you know, sew things. If I had to sew things, he was amazing and he would always, um, some of my favorite memories were when he would drive me to school, the book or t he was stoked. He was like, I wish I had had a book or t when I was young, like, oh my gosh, I would have loved school and I was like, yes, it's pretty great. Um And he would drive me to school and he would constantly tell me how proud he was of me for doing something that was out of the ordinary. He was like, this is so brave. I am so proud of you for following your heart, for following something that means so much to you. And like, if I mentioned something one time, there was a time I think I was in eighth grade, pre booker. T I was like, oh my God, this band is so cool and he bought the whole album just to listen to it with me. He bought the whole album and then all of a sudden, I came home one day and he had bought tickets with his own money because he got tickets from his job and stuff. And he was like, no, they didn't give me these. I bought these for us and we went to this concert together just because I mentioned it and thought they were awesome, you know, so it was always um art was always celebrated. Art was always celebrated. And I think that that is something that can be learned, but also something that can be just like embedded in a person. And I am so grateful to have that kind of embedded in me. Um And I'll definitely be passing that along to my Children. So anyway, that's a little tidbit about my dad. But I do think that he's a big part of why I have been so confident to take this path because it is a very challenging one. very competitive. I'm very grateful to have the position that I have in a company. Um and to have the experiences that I've gotten. But it is a very, um and I know that I did the work, but there are many people who do the work and still um may not get to where they long to be. So I feel very grateful to have never questioned my choices. So. Well, that's, this has been a beautiful uh session and I have really enjoyed getting to learn more about your journey. But we are at a point where in the interest of time need to move on to our, our next segment. And that is uh some rapid fire questions. Let's go. OK, first question. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be? I mean for the purpose of my dad's birthday, I'd bring my dad back for sure. But if I could change like one thing, oh, I would probably bring all of what I've built in Dallas to New York, so I could live with my boyfriend and also have all of this really cool um, community and I teach these kids that I love and I kind of wish I am planning on moving to New York next year. Um, and I will really miss having all of this, but I'll build something new there. But if I could, I would just take it all with me. I love it. Uh Next question. Many years from now. You are a ghost at your own funeral. What do you want your closest friends and family to say about you? Hm. I would hope that they remember me as somebody who embraced life with a full and open heart. I think that I want to make my friends feel that way and I think that I want to feel that way about the way that I experience the world. And I hope that, that, you know, translates into my relationships and everything, but there is so much to be enjoyed and so much to be seen and experienced that I, I hope to have giving it my best go while I'm here. Love it. Um uh My final rapid fire question. I'll turn it over to Maddox here in a Bennett. Um What's the biggest life lesson that you've learned? Hm. Probably that if you believe in yourself, things happen, things happen. Um Yeah, I think that that's the secret sauce. I did a yoga retreat, not a retreat but like a, a program like an type of thing and a big thing. That she always talked about is that you have to kind of embody the feeling. And I think Maddox, you and I have talked about this before as well. You kind of have to embody the person you want to be, to get to be that person. You have to already become the person that you will be in your mind, in your soul to like get to that point. So, yeah, I think um they until you make it in the most integers way, I love it. Uh Maddox. Are you so inspired to have some rapid fire questions of your own? No, I think we've, we've hit on it and your, your answers um ahead of the Clint moment. Um Yeah, just very touching. So this has been beautiful. You know, I've known you for 11 years and in this moment, I feel like I know you on a whole different level just from hearing the ins and outs of your story and a oh, you just poured your heart out so beautifully and wow. I just know if it's impacting the listeners the way it is me. Wow. Wow. Wow. So thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for showing up. Always. I love you guys so much. Thank you so much for having me. This was very special, very special. We love you. We love you.