#006: From Isolation to Inspiration: Teevee Aguirre on Creativity, Parenting & Community

Um, and it's essential, as far as the community and my, my dance is concerned. Artistically, in my other spaces, I primarily have stayed alone, um. And I had trouble connecting with people in those spaces cause it's just hard. Everybody's an artist. But I, I recently really, really tried to uh join communities or doing some of the things that I'm doing, um, to hold me accountable, to, to, to give me feedback, give me notes on my work, um as we're both we're all doing the same type of stuff. Um and I'm really enjoying it in, in a way that I didn't realize. You have to remember also, I grew up in the 90s. And I didn't have internet, and there was no social media, there was no communities. So everything I, and I was, I was always, uh, buried in my room working on something. So it was always kind of like this, it was this person. Um, but now I know that you need people around you. Uh, I do my best work, even work, work, if I'm in the coffee shop and I hear people rough, rummaging around, for some reason, I'm more productive. Um, but community is an essential part of, I think any, any group, any artistic endeavor, if you really want to grow, cause it's, I, I think even the, the old artists are known. Hey, folks. You're listening to For the Love of Creatives podcast. I'm Maddox and I'm Dwight. We're the connections and Community guys and today we are joined by our featured guest, T Aguirre. Yes. Welcome TV. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'm glad to be here. I've been really excited about this, just so everybody knows, you know, TV and I have been knowing each other somewhere upwards of 15 years. We met in a networking group that I was leading at the time and became fast friends, and over the years, our friendship has deepened and grown. I've watched his children grow up, I cut their hair for several years when they were children. Um, I am, I am deeply in love with his fiancee, uh, and I'm, I'm, I'll say that out loud. She's amazing, um, but yeah, we, we have over the years have had some amazing conversations and yet I still believe today I will likely learn some things about you that I do not know. And that's exciting to me. That's fairly accurate. Depending on what you ask me, I'm an open book, uh, so rock and roll, let's, let's share, crack me open. Well, let's, let's start off with, um, why don't you tell, you know, the listeners just a little bit about yourself, just an overview, a brief who you are, what you do, what you're about, and then we'll get into the big story. Uh, well, I, um, pride myself on being a father for first and foremost, uh, father of two little girls, scratch that. Adult girls, um, father, um, I run a marketing agency that I started in an effort to be closer to them and be involved, involved in their life. I've been a lifelong artist, uh, creative, uh, been doing creative work since I can remember since before I could even read or write. Um, and it's something that I'm deeply passionate about and have ingrained into every aspect of my life, including my parenting. And I will say I have watched him parent these girls over. I met him when they were 6 and 7 and they're full adults now, and he is truly an amazing father and somewhere along here he's probably gonna talk about his podcast, which is mostly about parenting skills, so we'll put it in the show notes and you got to check it out if you're a parent because he's um. He's, I mean, I've known a lot of people in my life. I've been on the planet for a while and he's possibly one of the best parents I've ever known. And, and there's a lot out there that are good, but you, you have skills as a parent that are. Well, you put an insane amount of it in like intention into the subtle nuances of parenting your girls, and they have turned out to be amazing young women. Thank you very much. It's uh something I do take a great deal of pride in. Um, I am intentional because of my own personal journey, my own upbringing, so I make every effort to make sure that My, uh, my lessons can be conveyed upon them and that they stick. So, yeah, uh, words like yours, I've heard this before and I, I truly appreciate them. I appreciate the, the kind words and I, uh, I'm grateful to have such great little human beings as my children. Yeah, they are truly amazing and you know those words are words of truth. I'm not, I've never been one to butter you up. Those words are words of truth. Thank you. So I think I wanna start off with, um, and you're the first person that I've asked this question, so here we go, um. What is creativity to you? I mean, what is this thing that we call creativity? Hm, that is a good question. Um, creativity to me. Is the ability to think differently, to act differently, to put together random ingredients. Cooks can be creative in the kitchen. Carla is really great at this, she'll put together dishes based on things that are available, like whatever is there, she can concoct something. Um, it's the idea of just Doing things differently or doing things the same, but creating something out of ingredients that are all around her, us. Beautiful. And um this may be a little more um Existential, if that's the right word. I'm using a big word that I'm not sure the meaning of it, but there we go, um. What? Where do you think creativity comes from? Mm. I think it comes from this place of, I think humans by nature are creative individuals. Uh, we have been creating and building since the beginning of time. There's paintings on walls that demonstrate that and we're building tools, we're being creative. So I think it comes from this place of wanting to create something to solve problems or to tell our stories. So I think it's innate to the human experience. So that's why I feel like almost anyone is a creative because it's just a part of us. Some of us shove that down. Early on in childhood, because we're told we're not creative, we can't draw even stick figures, but the truth is we're all creative. We're creating life is an improvisation, as a creative experience, and we're creating through our conversations, but depending on how we live it, we, we tend to have mundane boring conversations as well. But I think it's just a part of the human experience. But, but the, the creative energy, the ideas, where did they come from? Mm, uh, I, that's just gonna vary person to person, I, I believe, but for me, most of it, just in the, the excuse me, just in the context of artistic creativity, uh, comes from this desire to tell a story. To share an experience. I right now I'm in the middle of creating a bunch of uh new artistic pieces, uh, sketches with lessons and whatnot, and I'm pulling from different experiences in my life because I want to tell this story, and then their, their actual sketches. And in other instances, I want to tell the story through a more of an auditory mode with my podcast. So I'm sitting down and I'm recording those, but it's this desire to say, hey, I have something happened to me. Let me tell you about it. For some people it's a painting. For others it's a mosaics. It just varies person to person. Beautiful. Beautiful. So let's talk a little bit more about what you're doing now, you know, what's the what's on your plate? What are you excited about? What are you working on? And you know, how did uh how did you come to work on that? What what brought that to you? Well, right now, I have a lot of creative endeavors. It's something that I, I'm just really passionate about. Um, there was a lull in my life, especially during marriage and then divorce and whatnot, where I, I was not. But right now, I'm, I feel like I'm circling back around and finding my artistic identity and really rekindling that childhood uh desire and passion around it. Um, I'm working on sketches, illustrations, uh, comics. I'm working on a comic strip. I actually have my first strip of sorts that I'm, I'll be publishing maybe this week. Um, but it's Just illustrations that tell a story as I mentioned earlier. Um, I have about 4 or 5 queued up. I, one of my goals right now is to have a bunch done, ready to go, so that way I can be kind of consistent cause, you know, the internet thing. Um, and I also have, uh, the podcast. The podcast for me is a creative endeavor because I do like talking and sharing, and I've, I've been going up and down trying to test the medium and how I want to share it. And right now, I think I've settled in on primarily sharing stories and lessons in one-off kind of podcast where I share one lesson, one story. um, and it allows me to talk because essentially I'm here by myself for the most part if my girlfriend isn't here. And I'm able to share those uh stories, so that, like the video editing, the setup, everything about it has been something that's been uh a little overwhelming to get back into, but at the same time, it's something that it's um truly. Compiled compelled to do and I'm, I feel a calling to do. Those two are big projects are what's on my plate at the moment, and I'm really, really excited cause I wanted, uh, my goal had was to by January, start pushing out some new art, uh, into the world and new stories. You do have a lot going on and that sounds all amazing. I was aware of most of that, um. You said something a minute ago that I kind of want to backtrack to. You talked about divorce and a time period in your life where you weren't as creative. And we all know as creatives that life can get in the way sometimes. So, when life tries to get in the way, I mean, how, uh, yeah, when life tries to get in the way, you've been doing this for a long time. How have you learned to navigate that in a way that well you don't, that life doesn't really like. Stall you Well, in a way it did, to be honest. I mean, I was married for 5 years, um, and divorced and really kind of trying to build a business for another 5 years before I could really Get back into that artistic version of myself that I saw myself as before. And just bear in mind that um I didn't go to college because I wanted to be an artist. My whole, it was 1994. I, I wanna be an artist. So then I got married, then I had children, so that entire thing went out the window. But I still did keep in touch in some way. I, I used to airbrush. I started airbrushing different things. I would airbrush t-shirts, and that was a way to stay in touch. I started doing Photoshop, and that's what allowed me to get into internet marketing. So that allowed me to be creative. Um, so there were gaps and moments where life is too real and life is just coming too hard. I had 4 children. Uh, at one point, I had 2 stepchildren and my daughters and my, my wife, of course, that I was supporting. So having time to be creative was, was really uh was short, was in short uh inventory. Um, but I did still keep in touch and, and dabbled in it, but nothing like I do now. Uh, I, I feel like at times you really, for me, I've learned that you have to be OK with stopping and going and not beating yourself up as much, like, oh, I haven't done my art, um, and just pacing yourself and looking at your situation, because if you live long enough for me, this is something I've really come to believe if you live long enough. Which is kind of funny to say. But if you live long enough, you can keep doing that. I've done that over and over in various different um aspects of my life, dancing as well as an artistic expression that I love, that every time you come back, you're a little better, you're a little better, you're a little better in, but I'm pushing 50. So now I've got 4 or 5 different core skills that have allowed me that I've been able to kind of go back and forth on over the years to really get competent or really excellent at. Um, but I at at times it, it will punch you in the face and you will be knocked out for a while. Well, and you've got something coming up. I mean, you're engaged currently, so there's a wedding on, on the horizon, and I know that you guys have already started to plan more family, so there's gonna be more children involved and OK, you have all these experiences when all that kicks in and and and life is starting to like throw obstacles in your, in the way of your creative. Yeah. You know, part of your being, knowing what you know, having all those past experiences, how will you navigate this time to not, I mean, it's a lot to have a new wife to be to go through the whole wedding thing again and because you're not planning something small, I don't think it's a destination wedding, I understand, and, and then family, you know, and, and, and family by the time those are born, you'll be probably in your early 50s, so it probably won't be quite. As easy as it was 20 years, 25 years ago when the first ones came along, you were young and really energetic, not that you're not young and energetic now, but damn it. So speak for yourself, yeah, I love that. So how do you think, you know, hypothetically you will navigate that when that all comes down based on all this wonderful experience? Fantastic question. I've actually, it's actually something I have thought about because I don't ever want to let it go again. I don't ever want to go, let it go to this uh ways. Um, well, for one, it's gonna be a part of our, our culture here in the home. There's some creative something here, all like there's at least 6 or 7 right now I can reach out and and do right now. But in terms of when the child comes with when I'm married and when that craziness starts is I'm actually going to Well, number one is, my partner is actually fully invested. And supports this endeavor. She understands how important it is to me. So that already is going to be 80% of the work for me in terms of actually doing it because she supports it, she actually encourages me to sit down and record videos. She lets me sketch and not ask me what the hell I'm doing, what's wrong with you, go get a job or do anything, like, go make money, damn it. I don't have that. Um, so you, you hit pay dirt when you met her, my friend. She's amazing. Last week she actually told me, sit down and record your podcast. You said you were gonna do it today, sit down like, yes, ma'am. Um, that didn't exist before. So I think even a big better answer is that I've built my life already and my lifestyle to be able to do that. I have all the tools around me. I have the room, I have a partner, so being able to, oh, and I have a business that allows me to sit. And record and do different things in the gaps in a way that I couldn't before. I had to, I had to work a full-time job. I worked 10 or 12 hour days, 6 days a week, working in the grocery business. So coming home and then being a father to for like there's just wasn't enough time in the day. Now, I don't have to work as hard physically to make money. I can make in excess now to allow myself the time. Uh, so as long as I continue to do that and just maintain a daily practice of some sort, and that's what I'm doing now is sketching or doing something every single day, even if it's just circles and squares and perspective, just to keep the brain in my hand blowing. Yeah, it sounds like you've done a lot of things to try to build those resources to have something. In the banks of, of different sorts. Yes, absolutely. And it's, it's something that I'm incredibly proud of that now I know that I can do that and The other part is, I don't have to do this to make money. So this is like removing that stress of trying to make my art pay the bills. Uh, I do it because it, it truly, uh, makes me happy. And a lot of the things that I'm sketching it are based off of things that are happening in my day, like something fires off, fires off a memory, or in that moment something happens. So like I can't wait to see those moments come to life, like, oh my God, kid just walked, which reminded me of this, and I want to tell this story, blah blah blah, right? Yeah, I, I hear a really stark contrast. The you talked about uh two those two dark cycles, 5 years, 5 years of marriage, 5 years uh of uh following the divorce. And just the contrast with how you, you knew all of the things that Would not feed you, not build you up, that tore you down. And you've, it sounds like you've done a whole lot to build all the things that will nurture you and sustain you for the long haul. Absolutely, I think without that, that you do, when those obstacles come, it it becomes even more difficult to get yourself back up or to overcome it, it's overstep, step over the obstacle, whatever you got to do with that obstacle, um, when you don't have a partner that's supporting this endeavor, when you, when you don't have a lifestyle that's paying, like if I have to go get a second job because now I have a kid, now forget about it, right? So, To get back to this question of how will I overcome it like it's gonna be built into my entire way of being and my lifestyle and partner, everything, and my child will be a little artist as as my girls are. They are also creatives. Well it's, it's worth calling out too that what you do that makes money, the business is also very creative. Yes, yes, it is because I have to, yeah, thank you for that, um. Yeah, I have to think of creative ways to market my clients. I have to edit their videos. I have to figure out how to position them. I have to figure out how to promote and market behind it, the marketing behind it, um, who to target, how to figure out who those individuals are. So that's a great point and something I didn't realize even all of it is tied together into my, when I went to high school. I studied commercial art, which essentially now concluded as graphic design, commercial art, and even then I was already in a space where I'm blending business and art to create a story to help my, my clients, you know, pick up clients, pick a business. So, so, so we know how you just tell from the way you talk about it that the, the, the creativity that's not financially tied feeds your soul. Does the part that is the creative part that is the business, does it also feed your soul? Yes, it, it actually also gives me reps. It feeds my soul and it feeds my belly, uh, and it gives me the reps to actually practice and try doing some things that I may have not done with myself, for myself. Um, and I enjoy it. I enjoy helping the people that I'm, that I work with. I don't have hundreds of clients. I have right now, I think maybe 5, and they're good human beings that are doing good work in the community. So working for them actually makes me feel even better, and on top of that, they compensate me well because I'm making the money. Beautiful. Dwight, what you got? Well, I wanna kind of pull on a thread about how creativity informed your, your parenthood, uh, but, uh, I also kind of heard how um you, you learned a lot of what it was that you, you didn't want to, to show for your daughters. Uh, could you speak to that a little bit? Which one would you like me to speak on first? You said. Um, well, let's, let's talk about the creativity. As it relates to my parenting, yes, um. I, I'm an artist, and I, I fancy myself an artist since I can remember. And as I've done some more digging, I've realized that I literally have, it's been my only way of expressing myself, uh, early on in my childhood before I had any friends because I felt I was incredibly lonely. So art was my ex, my way to do things even if it was drawing stick figures, reading letters, trying to duplicate the letters. Lettering is another passion of mine. I really love lettering. Um, my friends would always ask me, like, oh, you're an artist, your parents artist? No, no one in my family is an artist. I am the only artist because that was my outlet, and I derived so much. Pleasure out of it and just fun. It allowed me to escape the world. So, when I became a parent, it became something that I wanted to ingrain in them. Early on, like they're both artists in their own unique ways. They're artists with the the spoken word, they're artists with the written, like whether it be uh personal, whether it be business, they're artist in conversation, they're, they're great painters, and I wanted them to have that because ultimately, life is a creative endeavor, whether we recognize it or not, we're painting in our, on our canvases every single day, every conversation we have, everything we do, we can do it artistically or we can do the boring mundane thing. Um, and I also realized that a lot of, a lot of art is essentially a lot of moment by moment problem solving. You're trying to figure out how to tell a story, how to frame it, how do I, oh wait, that didn't work, that paint is running here. It's watercolor crap. What do I do now? And how do I make sure. So it's essentially problem solving and I. Wanted to include that in in the parenting and and it just is fun. What's the, the best way to teach a child is to always include fun in it. And if we have paper, we have paint, we have crayons with charcoal. I use charcoal a lot in teaching my kids early on and how, as an example, um, when I was teaching my younger one, her numbers, her colors, and her shapes, I'm like, oh, I know what I'll do, grab some charcoal. I was living in my parents' house cause I had. was broke as hell. And we were out in the garage on on the driveway, used charcoal, and I did like an obstacle course. Uh, she jumped from one shape, well these shapes to different colors and each color each shape also had a number. So my kid would physically jump into each shape, and she would say the shape, the color, and the number, cause she had to take the whole body, she hurt herself, she felt like it was all this entire all the um the senses to actually learn and it was fun. So, ongoing throughout is something that I've continued to push, uh, they don't spoken word. Um, for me it was very special that they learned how to do that because I loved it, but it later became really powerful because they became really good at public speaking. They're, they're great conversationalists. They're really good at sharing their emotions because like a lot of the problems that we have are because we're unable to share our emotions. We can't be vulnerable. Well that spoken word, man, it teaches you some shit. It teaches you that you can be and it also teaches you that your peers around you have been through some shit, so you need to appreciate your life. So, artistic. Our artistry, artistic, uh, endeavors have been something that I've tried to weave into almost every aspect of our, of my parenting because I just felt like it was the right thing to do and it, it worked for me, so maybe it'll work for them. I have a story I want to share. Oh, this is gonna be good. So the girls must have been under 10, you know, I met them when they were 6 and 7. They were still under 10 and TV reached out to me one day and he said, my oldest daughter was a couple of days later is in a spoken word performance, and he said, I have been called out of town, something business related, or I don't remember what that was, but you were called out of town and you were heartbroken that you couldn't be there. And he asked me to step in. Would you represent me? Would you go? Because I knew the girls, would you go and would you watch her spoken word? Would you video it for me so I can see, you know. And so He didn't mention this to the ex-wife, and I show up for spoken word and when I walk in the door, the girls see me, they scream, they run across the room, they jump on me like a jungle gym and they're hugging all over me. And they carry me back over, you know, and introduced me, but they just introduced me as this, you know, my name, you know, they don't say anything. They just say, you know, this is Maddox, and so I'm, I'm sitting there and she, she's given me the eye up and down, you know, and I, I watched the performance with, um, Fay, and it was wonderful, the spoken word performance. I, I videotaped it. And a couple of days later, you know, we're having TV and I are having coffee or lunch together. I don't remember. I'm sharing the video with him and I said, you know, you actually texted me, by the way, you texted me because I checked in on you like, how was it? And you're like, Oh, it was a text. You're right. I text him afterwards. I said, I, I met your, your ex-wife, and he goes, Oh yeah, yeah. And I said she wanted to know who I was. And I told her I was your lover. You did what? He believed me for a moment. I did not do that, but he believed me for a moment and it was just, it was really very funny at the time, but I have loved that story and it was, you know, it was such an honor when you asked me to represent you and be there with your girls because I love your girls and I kind of, they're like, you know, y'all are all family to me. Same, yeah, yeah, we feel the same about you. You know, I've been to their, their graduation stuff and I've, I've, I've been to all the important stuff. You know, certainly been, been to the, the, yeah, yeah, the important stuff and we'll continue to be at the important stuff. Y'all y'all you're in the inner circle. Yes, you're in the inner circle of our family as well. So you're usually considered or thought of when it's like, who's on the list? Who are you need to invite? Max is up list and now do you're on the list too. Thank you. It's been an amazing journey. But yes, you, you put them in so many things to give them such a well-rounded experience and And let them pick and choose, you know, you never forced them to do anything. You just expose them to things and let them do what they were drawn to do, which is God, every parent needs to hear that. Don't force your children to do shit they don't want to do. Yeah, if they don't feel it. They, they, they, there's been things, even the poetry, for example, they, they loved it, they enjoyed it, but we were early on we were trying to build them up so they can be on the team and compete. And then as they got older and old enough to actually compete because they were too young to even be a part of it they allowed us to be there. They're like, we don't want to compete. I'm like, OK, cool. No worries. Just we just show up and we, it's a social activity and you flex those muscles and you, you're right. Um, and that's all we'll do. I'm not gonna force you to do anything that you're not comfortable with or don't even want to do it. You are so smart. Yeah, that's, that's an amazing gift for a child. I mean, truly, I'm gonna plug you again if you're listening to this and you're a parent, you need to listen to this dude's podcast because he's got it going. I try, I try. It's, you know, it's hard though, I'll tell you it's cause now they're older and like, oh crap, they're gone. Now they don't necessarily have to listen to me. And it's trusting that you've done enough to set them up. Um, As they move along and, and, and run, run their path and run their own timeline, um, and even if I think I know better, like I, I can't interfere. I have to let them be, um, and that, that's probably the biggest test for me now as I've, I've grown older is trusting that I've done the work and if they need help, they'll come and reach out, um, but the, the playing field has been set for them and they, they have enough built in that I think they will navigate it well, make their mistakes and get themselves up. You know what you're talking about, right, right, talking about right now is one of the things that I feel is one of the biggest thing where parents drop the ball. The the child comes to an age of maturity, 18, you know, they're now considered an adult, and while you will always be their parent, at that time, the time they leave your house and move out into the world, whether it's to go to college or whatever, the time they leave your abode. Your parenting role should stop. You will always be their parent, but the, the role of parenting them should stop. If it doesn't, now you're just pushing them away. I believe I'm more of a mentor now, more of just an advisor at best, um, and Yeah, because they're they're gonna be insulted if I keep showing up like you know what you did there. I taught you better than that young lady. That violates our code of ethics, or, you know, we don't do that around here. What, what's the neighborhood gonna think? What's the church gonna? I have to let them be and and cons consult and and counsel as needed but without the, the parenting stick. Otherwise you're just, yes, and, and ideally when it's asked for, um, I mean there'll be times I'm sure I will chime in on like, hey, we need to talk, you know, I am still around and let me share something, but the ongoing daily or consistent belligerent. Uh, talk is, you have to, and that's the probably the biggest lesson for me now is allowing them to make the mistakes is a lot of things you don't learn, even if they know better, you don't know till you actually have been through it like, oh crap, that's what Dad was talking about. Yeah, we have to experience consequences. Yeah, you know. Dwight, did you have a second question? He did have 2. What was the? I did have 2. well, I, I kind of picked up that a lot of your parenting style was, uh, drawn from things that you wanted to do better for your girls. Uh, do you want to uh talk about that a little bit? Well, yes, yes, uh. My parents, I actually put this timeline together. My parents were born in the 40s in Mexico, raised by parents who were born in the 10, 1910, 1915 during the Mexican Revolutionary War. So there are children of people of of parents that uh went through the war. Um, so they, they had ways of doing things and beliefs on parenting, uh, or not showing up, and we were poor, so. Put all that together, my childhood was really as a lot of kids are at that age, right? Um. No, I love yous, no hugs, no show of compassion. So a lot of things that I got in my parenting came from what I really needed. Um, Just support, love, ongoing conversations. I have no I have no conversations with my parents. I, I really don't even know who they are to a large extent. I don't know their stories, their struggles. Obviously I know the struggle because we went through it, but anything in their childhood. So, ongoing relationship with them, uh, explaining myself, like, hey, like I don't believe in just telling them what to do without. The understanding and the thinking behind it. Just because I'm the dad is not a good excuse for me. It's not a good justification because they're not gonna learn what actually I want them to learn. Slapping, I don't, I didn't discipline them, physically discipline them because I, I, my thought, I, I figured it'd be a social experiment with my kids is. You beat your cattle, you beat whatever, but beating a child to me is like, they're just literally beating little humans. What do they know? They don't even know language. Beating them isn't going to necessarily make them to fear you and they might eventually will obey you, but I think that they would learn. So, Uh, stayed away from that and a lot of the stuff that I do comes from what I didn't. Think actually serve, while at the same time trying to instill uh grit in them and and the ability to, you know, fight for themselves, speak for themselves, stand up for themselves and others. Um, so I was trying to marry those things that were good that my parents did, were able to serve for me, um, but then the things that I felt like were just making it worse and make me hate them. There was a period of time where I hated my parents. Um, and it's, it, it was, it's really tough to say that, but I did because I was a kid and I'm like, don't understand why you're beating me, and I, I just this recent realization is, and I reason I think communication is so important to me, that communication is one of the biggest things in my, besides art, it is the art of communication and conversation and persuasion and all that marketing. The reason I think it's been so important to me is because I think I got my ass beat a lot, because I did things incorrectly that I was asked to do. But it's because I, it wasn't told to me in a proper way. My parents' communication skills and like it's vague at best and you you hear parents are like, you know, we'll leave in a little bit, or you could just have a little bit or um you're doing it wrong. Well, what's wrong? Show me right. What is right, please, somebody. So all that, you put that together and like I, I try to pull from that while trying to bring the good from what was there. To be able to parent them in a way that I think will ultimately will make them better children and humans, but just allow them to thrive in the modern world. That's beautiful. Now, uh, did you have a chance for your, your girls to have a relationship with their grandparents? They do. Um, they live in Dallas, so, yes, however, it's, it's, it's difficult because my parents are disabled, and they're tough to talk to. Um, the environment that they're, they're living is tough. Everything about it is tough, but they do have a relationship, they have a loving connection with them, and they appreciate them for who they are. I've tried to make sure that they, they know that they're still my parents and I still love them. Uh, so every time we come over, they're, they're fantastic with them. They try to give them money. Um, so it's, it's, it's a connected one, but it's, it's, it's a thin connection, unfortunately. And also, My parents don't speak English and my kids don't speak Spanish, so, but they understand it well, but they don't, they're unable to uh have those really deep conversations, but to be fair, my parents aren't gonna open up. They're just, they, they're just fine. They can hug on them and low in those brief moments, yeah. I, I wanna call out that, you know, what you're saying, if I'm understanding correctly, is You knew what you got as a child. And that was all you had to draw from. That was your, your role models, that was all you had to draw from and so. Just the act of choosing to raise your daughters differently was the ultimate form of creativity. I mean, all you had to go on was over here, but where you wanted to take them. was over here. So you had to create an entire new way of being, a new environment, a new way of communicating. I mean, jeez, if that's not the ultimate communication, I mean the ultimate creativity, what is? And I, I think in a manner of speaking up, and thank you for setting that up. I, I wanted to remix. Grab ingredients from what was given to me and, and create some masterpieces. I wanted to create a life. That honored what I was given. But acknowledged that there were ways to improve it. And in every aspect I could, I tried, you name it, I, I, I really did. Um, and it's, it was a creative endeavor for sure. I, it, it took years of reinventing myself because I knew that there has to be a better way to do things. And that's a kind of a thing I say a lot of like there has to be a better way. As a child, I think I, I uttered those things, those words a lot. quejo manera a better way to actually live, to be, to create, to share, to talk, to argue, to disagree, uh, there has to be a better way, and it, it just. In improv really, really, really hammered this across to me. At any given moment when anything happens in a scene in improv. Most people, we, and this is life as well, we will do what we first think about and it's boring, it's mundane, it's predictable. But improv taught me that any given moment you have thousands of things that you can say, thousands of things that you ways to respond and create a more engaging conversation or a better resulting conversation. So yes, it, it, it became an artistic endeavor because I needed to create a better life. And it's, it sounds like you've created a better life on so many different levels. You know, um, as, as you just, uh, shared earlier about how it was that you, you didn't go off to pursue uh formal schooling because you wanted to be an artist. And yet throughout our conversation, you've made all of these references that would um be in the domain of anyone that was educated in the classics of arts and letters. I mean, Honestly, like you, you value. Communication and all its forms, you've taken your daughters to, to, uh, you know, at one point you were grooming them to compete in spoken words. And like there's, there's really a true love of what it is to communicate. And it's, it's how you earn your living. Yes, absolutely. Correct, um, I'm sorry, go ahead. Oh, no, go ahead. I just lost my train of thought, so I'm gonna need you to go next. So you've talked about growing up, your childhood, your parents, and the challenges of that. You've talked about the divorce, you know, the, the, you mentioned briefly the, the corporate job before becoming creative, the five years there, that challenge. Are there any other significant challenges when it comes to your creative life that you have had to overcome that you would like to share? Other creative challenges, uh, I mean, That's about it, honestly, because they were pretty big ones and they, they spanned decades of my life. Um I just wanted to make sure we covered it. No, no, I mean, early on it was access. Um I grew up in the, I mean, I was born in '75, I graduated in the 90s. Uh so there was limited access to knowledge and information back then. Uh, I did, I was able to find a library for me, one of the biggest, um, discoveries was the library to find books that allowed me to learn anatomy and perspective and color, like, so I was still teaching myself, self taught myself in that manner. Um, so the obstacle was finding, I wanted to be an artist, but uh, where else do I learn? And I, the story I told around that is, I, I was an immigrant kid. I was born in Mexico and I didn't know what a library was. Somebody, I think told me in school, was able to convince my father to take me because he didn't like taking me anywhere, but he took me and then when I get there, they they they share with me that, you know, I asked how many books can I check out because there's a library at the school. They're like, oh, you can check as many as you want. What? Are you kidding me? I'm like, oh. I literally must have taken 12 books on, and most of them were on drawing or illustration or something of that form. Um. And then it made me, it it it made me so happy, and it taught me that was one of the things that I learned during that phase of my life as if. If I have a question, there's probably a book on it. I'm go get that book. I did magic. I did all types of crazy things, um, and a lot of it was to try to perform even or or to to find get attention or tell a story, right? Um, but for me, that was the, the challenge at the moment. Now my biggest challenge might be too much information, too much access, too many teachers, too many courses, and I have too many books to read, um, and it's finding time or. Focusing on just one aspect and right now that's what I'm doing. Try to focus so that way I don't, cause if I, I'm really easily distracted. I want to do everything. I think it's my curse. I wanna do everything. I want to fly a drone. I want to do videos. I want to, I wanna paint. I wanna do mad. You did painting, uh, I wanna do some oil painting. That's probably my biggest obstacle now is focus. I now that I got back around to it, focusing on one thing and really pushing it up. Early in our conversation, you said. I didn't go to college because I wanted to be an artist. yes. And you know, I also, I did one year of college, and it was not my thing. And I think that in this society, we put so much. Emphasis and power on a degree. Uh, and I think we're short-sighted for that because, uh, you know, you are a lifelong learner. As I, I'm a lifelong learner. You should see my tabs on my browser right now. And, and we may not have that diploma, that piece of paper that says we went through 4 years of college and have a degree, but you and I are both very well educated. In fact, in many ways, far more well educated than somebody that's got that 4-year degree and piece of paper. It's just worth calling out, you know, I, I, I just. For those other people who need to hear, you know, you are not less than because you did not get a college degree, not remotely. I'll tell you a story on that. So I'm, I'm obviously, I believe that to be true and I agree with it, um, and there's a, but there is a time and a place for it. So I supported my kids in, in their own. Path with the education. So that my oldest did not go to college. She started a business. She went, well, she went to work for a marketing agency and now she has a business. Um, she told me, uh, her senior, I don't want to go to college. I've decided that it's not for me. School is not for me, formal education is not for me. Is that OK? I'm like, yeah, it's OK. Look at me. Like, who am I to talk, especially now with the availability for for knowledge of uh that's out there. I said, It's amazing that she had that kind of clarity at that age and was able to speak her voice and her truth. Yes, that's part of you raised her the way you did. That's part of the education and even in in the poetry uh circuit, that's one of the things I say. I have a voice, I have a I have a say, and I, I have an opinion. Uh, but then flip that to my other kid. She's in college. Well, she's home right now for a summer break, no, holidays, but she went to college. She went, she came to me. She's an academic. So, and she wants to be a mathematician or something, it's like crazy out there. I'm like, OK, let's do that. Let's rock and roll. There's a time and a place and it's not for everyone. And for her, it made perfect sense. So I also support it, and I'm also paying for that. And I'm making sure that she knows that she's taken care of, so she can pursue whatever she's gonna pursue down the line. I've said, I've, I'll be honest, who knows how it works out, but you meet enough people who have gone to college and they're not doing anything remotely related to their degree. Yeah. And it's not to poo poo on anyone, but it's, it is what it is. But for me, like if that works out, I'm fine with it because I've given her the opportunity to go out, to grow her network, to learn, to be, and whatever happens, I know she's going to be a much better person because she did go. It fit her personality type. And I'm not worried about it. It'll work itself out. I want to grab on to something that you talked about earlier. Uh, you were kind of setting the stage for all the things that you have on the horizon for the coming year and excited about a lot of projects and to me it kind of spoke to how you could recognize that there was growth at different points. So, could you look back and and call out Any milestone, uh, works that you're, that you can look back on to see your journey. Any anything that maybe we could throw some links to that people could see. Milestone like how I maybe crossed the threshold and scale or is that what you mean? Yeah, yeah, just like different any any artistic work that stands out in your memory, anything that Yeah, maybe it was uh something that you, you learned a lot from, or, you know, uh maybe it was in, uh, a medium that uh you mastered and moved on from. Or something that you're just particularly proud of. Yeah. I have a couple, maybe 31 is, uh, when I started this artistic journey of really making it more of a focus, it was a few years ago. Um, and one of my pieces took off on Twitter, um, and it took off so well that Some other guy who's an artist on on Twitter. Reproduced it in his style, and it took off for him, but he gave me credit and I'm even in his course as like this is the guy who originally did it, but I did it my way. You can grab it, but it went viral, um, it was a, it was a personal story about protecting my girl, my daughter's mind. So I did everything to take the arrows and protect them and protect their minds because if I protect their minds, anything is possible. If I, if the mind is not, so that's the story that took off and I'm like, whoa. And I had uh one of the things I try to do with my sketches is maybe quote people, what authors, and I've been liked and followed by them, so that was a fantastic feeling of confirmation of my skills. Um, another, uh, endeavor, a milestone for me, and I just, I just wrapped it up, my involvement with this was building a dance community. We haven't even talked about dance. Um, so I've been dancing, and it's a passion, it's something that I, I love doing and when I was young, I couldn't do it because my dad said it was gay. Um, so I was forbidden from dancing. As I got older, after my divorce, like I'm gonna learn how to dance cause, uh, and uh I did, and then a few years later for some reason. I decided to start a community because we needed to build a community. Maddox has been to one of my wasn't has attended an event before Quizumba specifically. So I created an event called Monday Night Quizumba 5 years ago. Or so Um, and through that event created a community of dancers, um, that in Dallas, we Dallas DFW became known as the mecca for kizomba for big kids with so we have so many people that show up. We have such great dancers. It's all it was large numbers of people, so that felt fantastic. How many, how many people did you get up to? Do I do I I'm sorry, TV? I've got up to over 100. Uh, at, at an event, uh, at a little bar, basically, but didn't you also have something that was like a Facebook group or something where people, in terms of it's an event, no, it's a page, a Facebook fan page or a business page. So I probably got 25,000 people that like the page or following the page 5000 people that are following you for dancing. Wow. So but to just added Sherry to that. I built the community. I built, I, I did invest in that because it had given me so much. It's given me, some of my best friends came from the dance community. Carla, I met there. She walked in my door at my event. So that, that in itself, I guess that could be another one. So she walked in my door and now she's my life partner and my future mother and my children. Um, And all my best friends, and I learned how to walk and dance in my own skin, be comfortable in my skin. So I felt compelled to do this and invested a lot of money and time into it. Um, so I'm grateful for that, but then to have to know that there are people who met in my event and have now since then as well, been married. Makes me feel good. Like I help bring people together. Um, and like I said, I just walked away from it. I literally 100% walked away from it uh last month and, and removed myself from it and allowed them to continue to develop it. But that was one of the, those moments as well that made me feel like, oh shit, I did that. Well, you, you've created the perfect segue for where I want to go next, and, and that is I'm awesome community, you know, how has community played a role in your, your creative life. Specifically as it relates to that, it was a a. It was critical. I don't know if I become the man I am without community, especially in the dance space because you have to do, you dance with another as a partner dance. But within community, you, you, you have friends that hold you accountable. Are you coming tonight? Are you going to class? Uh, how's your Saida going? How's your move going? or it just, it just becomes a place where we can all participate and, and grow together. Um, and I knew that. If I build that community that it would, it would be, it would feed my soul and it did. Um, and it's essential, as far as the community and my, my dance is concerned. Artistically, in my other spaces, I primarily have stayed alone, um. And I had trouble connecting with people in those spaces cause it's just hard. Everybody's an artist. But I, I recently really, really tried to uh join communities or doing some of the things that I'm doing, um, to hold me accountable, to, to, to give me feedback, give me notes on my work, um, as we're both, we're all doing the same type of stuff. Um and I'm really enjoying it in, in a way that I didn't realize. You have to remember also, I grew up in the 90s. And I didn't have internet, and there was no social media, there was no communities. So everything I, and I was, I was always, uh, buried in my room working on something. So it was always kind of like this, was this person. Um, but now I know that you need people around you. Uh, I do my best work, even work, work, if I'm in the coffee shop and I hear people rough rummaging around, for some reason I'm more productive. Um, but community is an essential part of, I think any, any group, any artistic endeavor, if you really want to grow, cause it's, I, I think even the the old artists are known for having groups of people that were right beside them creating other masterpieces. You know, at some point, I don't remember, this was maybe 2011, I think, no, 2012, it was because it was after, it was, it was early. 2013 because my, my father died at the end of 2012 and I remember I said for many, many years, one of these days, one of these days I want to take painting lessons and when the day my father died, it was like, oh, you know, that slap of mortality in the face, you're not gonna live forever. And I thought one of these days is today. And I signed up for a painting class and I gifted you with the, the painting class and we painted together in a group. It was all these other people painting. It was a group thing. Can I tell you something? Can I tell a story about that? Absolutely. So, he says, hey TV, what are you doing on this day? I like, I'm busy. Well what about this day? Uh, are you asking? Uh, I'm available, what's up? He's like, don't, don't worry about it. Just be ready, meet me or at this, and he eventually gave me an address. I said, OK. Oh no, I went to your place and then from your place you drove me and, and then you said to me, like, are you scared I'm gonna murder you? I'm like, a little. Where the hell are we going? I'm gonna take you to a gay bar. No, you didn't say that. I'm sure they're fun, but uh we pull up into this, uh, what is olfactory or warehousey area. I'm like, what? Yeah, you're really scared, aren't you? I'm like, yeah, I am. We eventually walk in, I'm like. We make our way around like, oh crap, what's happening? There's paintings here. Surprise! I might have been my birthday, uh, like a birthday gift or something. I think it was because it was like a 3 pack. Uh, I wanna say it was like 2 or 3 classes that we did together. I forget how it was, but you gave 3 months maybe. No, it wasn't. Make that suck, man. Getting older sucks because you forget things. But anyways, side by side. We should be able to remember this between the two of us. Yeah, but we did. We pick that's right. It has to be weekly at least, because there are 3 or 4 paintings hanging right now. So, but he gifted me those, and you're right. Like, I remember looking around like, this is so cool. I wanna do this forever. And you, I cried. You made me cry that day cause I'm like nobody's ever given me something like that. Um, it was one of those those gifts that really hit home and damn talked about bringing it home to the art artistic creativity component. Um, and community. Yeah, it was, it was so cool because it was easily 6 to 12 people in the room. My, my little kid was out. A little, little TV baby TV was. You know, it spoiled me. That was my first foray into painting and I painted in the class for several months and then I don't know that they stopped holding the class, they lost the space. I don't remember exactly what happened and I tried to paint solo, and I never could get into it. I painted a little bit solo. But I didn't enjoy it at all. It was, I mean, I think that I've had so many solo things in my life. I, I just came to this point where I didn't want to do shit alone anymore. Some things, you know, I mean, I'm, I'm a little bit of an introvert, so I charged my battery by being by myself, but I did photography for years and that was so low. I've done all kinds of things that were so low. I wanted something that was a group and I would. I would join a painting class again if I could find one where I could paint with fun people. You know, you make a great point. I find that to be true for myself and a lot of and I've, I just Accept it. I can't do yoga by myself. I have to go to a yoga studio, and, and they're gonna say the exact same poses every single time. But I have to be in a room full of people. To be able to do it. I can't go, I, I try to go to the gym and work out by myself, and I do sometimes, but I cannot do it alone. I need, even if it's just rubbing elbows. With them in the room and they're also doing the same work. It, it makes me feel, I don't know, more what I keep coming back to is accountable. I am in the room with you. It is accountability, you know, I, I don't know, maybe about a year and a half ago I said to Dwight, would you, I've always been a gym goer, but I was, I mean my whole life I've been an exercise person. I'm, I'm, I'm not a gym rat by any means, but I, I exercise. I walk every morning. But there was a point where it was sporadic and I said, would you hold me accountable? I said, Dwight, can, can we go to the gym together? Can we set aside two mornings a week where we go to the gym together and we just do it without fail unless, unless we're sick, you know. And man, I'm your accountability buddy at the gym. did you say? And he keeps me on because there are times when, you know, it's like really cold outside or it's raining. I don't want to go to the gym and we go anyway and I'm in better shape for it. I won't tell you that I love going to the gym. I don't. Well, I'm glad my obsessive tendencies are good for something. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, everything in moderation, bro. You know, back to the group thing. At one point, and I don't remember whether you came to this or not. At one point, I rented a space and hosted a big party. And I invited probably hope there must have been 20 people that showed up for that. Everybody brought wine and I said, you know, all the paint and all the brushes and everything are supplied. You got to bring your own canvas. And everybody showed up with a canvas and we stuck them up on the wall and we painted and that painting behind Dwight right now on the wall there is the painting I painted that night and by far my first, my best work of art, you know. Wow, I didn't I didn't get that invitation. 45 minutes flat. You got an invitation. You just don't remember him. I knew you were gonna call me out. I sent you one, you dork. But yeah, the energy in that room that night enabled me to produce something that I wouldn't have otherwise been able to produce, and it was, I, I was surrounded by people that loved me and we were just having a really, really good time. Yeah it was amazing. As long as you keep it fun. If you maintain, like once it becomes work, I think that's the threshold, right? So for me, the reason I had to walk away from the the dance community because in the marketing and trying to grow that is it became too much work and less passion and love, and I had to walk away. So to your point, it's like, it has to be there, you can't, once you, I think you, you tried, you had a bunch of crap. You went all in on it, right? On painting, but once you became like a chore, I suppose it's probably when you think. It became less fun. Now cre creativity becomes a challenge. Yes, I have retained all of my tools and all of the paint and mediums, but I gave away, well, no, I sold them, but I might as well. I sold them really cheap. I sold you told me damn it, you didn't huge gallery wrapped canvases. I mean, I, I can't even, I don't want to tell you how much I invested in 20 gallery rats. You should have seen his, his studio, his, uh, his hair salon studio. You'd walk in like frames everywhere like jeez, this dude is crazy for a period of time, I would cut hair on one side of the room and paint on the other side to keep my creativity going. Yeah, but that wasn't fun either, because the only times I got to paint was when there was nobody in there. It was just me. No, no community. I think there's a theme here. There is a theme. What do you think? I, I, I think that we undervalue it. If that is, that is the one message that I want to drive home with everything we're doing is we as creatives have a tend tendency to undervalue the power of community. That's true. We feel like we should all be in, in our dungeon creating our masterpieces. Oh, I think of, um, is it Tolkien? Tolkien, JR Tolkien and I forget the other writers, but there was a group of them that created these masterpieces, but they were, they literally were buddies talking and collaborating or uh checking out each other's work. Like it was a community of those writers and they've created. Works that are still lived. I think one of them is Narnia. You're a big fan of Narnia. Oh yes, CS Lewis. They were buddies of Narnia. Yeah, I was trying to remember that, but And they were a little community as well of writers that were working together, um, and even if just being by each other and talking shit to each other like that, there's value in that. Yes, there is, there is immense value. Well, it's come a time where we need to start wrapping it up. This has been we've gone a little bit longer than we tend to, but this was so rich and so fabulous, and I did learn some things about you that I didn't know. Um, we're gonna, we're gonna pull some. A hat out of our, you know, what he, not a hat. I don't like that metaphor. It's really disgusting. It is disturbing. It's weird because I have to imagine it, and I don't like imagining a hat out of it, yeah, um, I, I didn't say it right, but, uh, Dwight's got some rapid fire questions for you with rapid fire answers or, or rapid fire answers. Yeah, so first rapid fire question. Where do you feel most inspired? Where you most inspired. This is gonna sound really freaky, but in the bedroom with my partner. OK. Yes, I know it, but it's, it's, it doesn't happen while freakiness is going on, just, um, in her arms, and we're we're sitting, we're talking, we're maybe talking about the movie we just watched or something that just happened in our day and things come, it's, it's peaceful. It's the most peaceful. That is my heaven in there. That's Oh my God, I'm so glad you clarified that. No, no, no, not while things are going. I just cuddled. That's great. Um, what's one way you give back to your creative community? Uh, well, like, uh, what I used to do was I used to host this event for 5 years, um, to help them connect and dance and grow. Um, I don't know what I do so much now that I can specifically say that I give to the dance the community other than create and show them that what's possible. Well, haven't you also been a pretty heavy hitter for a number of years in a a business networking group? I still am, I guess, yeah, that's a good point. I still, and I, I run ads even for them to help promote them and growing it, um. That is something that I've done is I, I like creating communities, but I like to be in the back end, uh, so I, I run ads to create, I created a video for them to help promote the the group and bring more people together. That's actually community is a very big deal for me. I forgot about that. Thanks for bringing that up. I still involved. From the master himself, community is a big deal. Yeah. What's a memory that makes you smile? Oh. It was like memory that makes sense. Um, the one that comes to mind is anytime I pick up my daughters from Their mother's house, especially when they're younger, and my grandson's starting to do it when he comes here because I have a long hallway, but they would book it. It'll be in the driveway, they book it to me, and they're running. I grab it, I chuck over the air and I put him down and the other one's coming. I gotta put him down because the other ones come and she books it. Me too, grab a chicken. Those are the most beautiful moments, just seeing them so excited to see me, uh, to start a weekend adventure. Uh, that is so beautiful. Well, I'm always really excited to see you every time I see you. Can I run and you can in the air. But I might just grab you and chunk you to the side because there's no way I'm picking your butt up. Let me just run to you. We should also call it a, uh, we have this thing we, we don't do it anymore because we're too big. When they were little, we call it a love blast. So one of us would sit on the couch with usually me on the bed, and one would book it from the other side of the house and. And then every single time I can't help but bust out laughing hysterically because I'm like so I like that. I love it. There's video of that too somewhere. I don't have that. It's crazy. I'm like I'm gonna get killed because when they're 1314, like go out when they're little it's not a big deal. That is great. This has been awesome. Yeah, you've been amazing. I've really enjoyed hearing more of your story than I think I've, and I've heard a lot of it through the years, but, um, this was truly uh a gift to to Dwight and I and to, you know, our listeners. Thank you. I appreciate you minding my life a little bit there dig out of you that connected any dots for you about your own life? No, most of the stuff I've been doing a lot of introspection in the last year or so that um I, nothing is new. It's the first time I've said some of these things out loud. It's just things that go in my journal like, oh crap, duh. How did, how did that feel to say some of those things out loud? It felt good. Uh, once again, it's like sharing my story. I, I read something somewhere that I I did a sketch around it like it's very human to show and tell. Like it's, it's not just kids. We want all do it. Like, look, I did this thing. So. For me to have put those words in that story, the stories together and then share with you, like, it felt really good and fulfilling. You're the energy you bring is amazing, my friend. I love you with all my heart. Oh, I love you too. Stop it. You too, Dwight. This is, this has been so uplifting. I'm so glad that we got to do this. Thank you. It's been my pleasure.