#004: Unveiling Creativity and Community with Jennifer Dertouzos: Realtor, Writer, and Wonder Woman in Disguise

And there, there's some things, you know, I want to be honest in terms of what has happened, but I might have to change some names just out of respect for family members who did not sign up to be part of this book, you know, and given how private my family is, thank goodness I have a different last name because I'm married. So, um, but yeah, I, my parents don't know I'm writing this book, so it's OK. They'll they'll just get it when they get it. I mean, this is how I am with my parents so I Welcome to another edition of For the Love of Creatives podcast with Maddox and Dwight, the connections and community guys, and today our special guest is Jennifer Dtuzos. Did I get your name right? Perfect. Perfect, Dwight. Thank you. Wonderful. Yeah, yeah, we're so glad that you could make it. So we had the the pleasure of running into you at a couple of our local creative mornings events. And uh you've always been delightful, and I'm, I'm so glad that uh we've gotten a chance to see a few of your your multi-hyphenate talents. Um, most notably, we got to see MC, uh, a wonderful comedy show, but that's just one of all of the, the wonderful things that you have in your bag of tricks. Uh, why don't you tell our audience a little bit more about yourself? Oh my goodness, uh, which hat would you like me to talk about? I guess I'll just talk about all of them, um, and then you can cut me off when we've gone over an hour. So, um, basically, I think we're all born creative, just like we say it creative mornings, you know, there is, there's something within us that that wishes to create something, whether it's song or dance or or writing or poetry or painting, and I guess. My creative journey started very early on. I, um, I, I speak a handful of languages and I also like to write. Um, I have had one article published that talked about my childhood, so that was kind of like a checkmark helps validate my, the fact that I'm a writer, um. So that would probably be my main creative outlet is writing, but like many writers that I know, um, they're kind of shy about what they write. They, it's, I mean, especially, I mean we shouldn't be shy now because, you know, everyone's like publishing missives even if they're horrifically incorrect in various ways, but people just publish them anyway, so I I think the fear barrier should be removed a little bit because we've become such a, a casual society in terms of what we put out there, which also makes it more open for creativity. So I'm a writer, will say that. Um, I think I'm pretty funny, so I'm always joking around with people. Um, I, I, I love stand-up comedy, and I think it's so important to support that art form because It's, it's tough. It's really, it's writing and performing at the same time, and it changes with each audience, so I, I feel like we really should support our local comedians and attend stand-up comedy shows when we can, if it, you know, aligns with our bedtime, um. I do watercolors, uh, I usually create little cards for my friends for holidays and birthdays, um, you know, I have danced a little bit, but I'm not the best dancer. Um, also dabbled with song, um. I'm very tone deaf, so that didn't work out. I did learn how to play the piano. I had one piano recital, and then I was done. I was like, OK, check mark, I, I know how to play the piano. I probably forgotten how now. But um, yeah, so that's the creative aspect of me. Um, the part that allows me to pursue those creative things is, uh, that I'm a realtor, and as you all know, um, there are a million realtors out there, but if you're a good realtor, you're able to sustain. Um, you know, the basics that you need to cover, um, without really having to have a 9 to 5 job. Uh, that's the beauty about being a realtor. So there is, there is that balance that you have to strike. Yes, I'm a creative, but also I'm a human being that has financial needs. So I, I was lucky enough. To be able to, uh, find a career that allows me to do those things. Did I start out as a realtor? No. I started out as something else altogether, but that's, that's a whole other topic that I can talk to, uh, if you want me to or not, or whichever. So I've been rambling on for a few minutes. Um, I'll, I'll pause now in case you have any questions. I, I would like to know, oh, go ahead, Dwight. No, I, I was just going to say, I, I really enjoyed, uh, the way that you, you kind of took us on a bit of a journey. There were some really important notes and what you shared. Um, 11 big piece for me was how, despite being rather accomplished, there are still some ways that you kind of, um, well, you, you kind of hide your light because you're, you're not quite, uh, Ready to be as bold and out there about your writing, for instance. You don't know what that is. It's, it's, um, I don't know, it, there's, I'd much rather like have an exhibit, a solo show of my watercolors versus having something published because I grew up in a very private household. My family is very private. It's not as if we're, you know, Running from the law or in witness protection, which it's if you're in that, that's OK. I'm not asking you to out yourself. Anyone who's listening, that's totally fine. You have to, you have to survive, but we just grew up in a very private household, um. Possibly because both of my parents are from very, very large families and maybe they didn't have a lot of privacy when they're growing up. I'm sure they had to share bedrooms with their siblings and um I guess when they created their own family, you know, their nuclear family, they thought, well, each child should have their own bedroom and we're going to have some privacy. We don't have to share all these things and I think maybe that led to that um that that desire to be a little bit protective of that. And I guess once it's out there, and you know how things can be picked apart, someone could take a quote out of context, like, you know, I could be quoting myself saying, oh, I, I hate the color red, and then it's like Jennifer hates red forever and ever and ever, and it's like I, I think I'm also afraid of the fact that people could twist it in a way which we see so often with so many things, and I, I know art doesn't exist in a vacuum, but I, and I'm not, I guess I'm a little precious about the work that I want to create that I do create. I have journals upon journals of poetry of Um, writing of short stories, of short essays, and um, yeah, I'm just very protective of it. I'm going to need to talk to my therapist about that one. Thank you for bringing that up, Dwight. I'm going to have to dig into that one. It's interesting what happens when we shine a light on something. Yeah. Well, uh, the, the question I wanna ask is How much of your creativity are you able to kind of sprinkle into your real estate business? Does it show up? Does it show? does it rear its head or sneak around and Oh gosh, yes, I mean. First of all, I, I host quarterly events for my clients. So if you have purchased a home with me, if you have sold a home with me, you are forever in my client list. So some of the things that I've done is host watercolor workshops and my clients pay for nothing. Whenever it's a uh an event that I host, everyone is invited and they're usually small, so it's a limited number of guests that it can attend. Um, it's a time for us to get to know each other as people, as opposed to, you know, Realtor and buyer or seller. So some of the examples that we've, uh, some examples of previous events are um a pottery wheel. We've created pottery, a water color class, um, I believe I've also done, what else we've done a cooking class at the Dallas Arboretum, um, sound bath and yoga, so there's always something that that's completely out of the realm of real estate. So that's one way in which I'm able to sprinkle the creativity in there, um. There've also been times where, you know, I create watercolor cards as thank yous in addition to some other things, but also in transactions, as I'm sure you both know, you have to be creative in problem solving. So no two transactions are ever alike, and sometimes the people on the other side that you're working um with or against or across from can be a little cantankerous, so you have to find ways to Creatively and successfully arrive at a solution that works best for everybody. So there's there's that. I love that you hit on a lot of things and, and I think that the, the creative part sprinkling the creativity in your real estate with your real estate clients is brilliant because it makes you in an ocean. You just said there's a million real estate agents. You've you're doing something that sets you apart from the rest of them. I like to think so too, Maddox. Yeah, I, I think another beautiful thing that you highlighted is through your quarterly events, you're making it so that you've dissolved what it was for them to just have a transaction. It's no longer transactional. You're giving them an opportunity to expose themselves in such a way that makes it to where it becomes relational. Yeah. You, you get to become real people. Yes, and I, I find that that's how I love to have relationships with people because whether I'm raising funds for a nonprofit or helping someone collect pumpkins from Halloween to take to a farm, it's, it's more than a transaction. We're human beings at the core of all of this, and we all want, we all want to do something good for our community, for our environment. We want to leave, at least I do. I want To leave this world slightly better than when I entered it, um, and I, I feel like if, if more of us are a little bit like that, whether it's you picked up a piece of trash off the floor and it's no longer gonna blow into the wind and choke a little bird as it's trying to fly away, you know, like it's all connected. It's like the butterfly effect. Do something nice and kind. You might not realize that it's, it's such a big deal. It might be a small act for you, but it could end up being a big deal down the road. Mhm. We never know how that when you drop that little stone into the water and see the little ripples, what those ripples are gonna do on the other side of the pond. Yeah. Yeah, that's beautiful. So you've you've accomplished quite a bit. I know that you've Uh, talked about how when it came to learning to play the piano, you had your recital and you were done. Yes. But I, um, I suspect that with being as accomplished as you are, you know, having to have navigated multiple languages and cultures. And uh being quite accomplished in quite a few areas, there are probably some things that you've, you've had to overcome. Yes, my office is a horrific mess. So basic housekeeping kind of falls by the wayside sometimes, you know, it's one of those things and as uh one of the things that I like to do is every year I do something that is Completely different, like, completely out of my wheelhouse because I feel for me, that's a great way to continue growing as a human being, to continue learning. So, um, last year was 2023, or was it 2024, 2023. Um, I, uh, no, 2022, I started yoga teacher training. So in 2023, I became a registered yoga teacher and it was all To get a deeper understanding of yoga. I did, I mean, the first thing I said during yoga school was, I don't want to be a teacher, I just want to gain a deeper understanding of yoga and teach myself how to do all the things. Well, throughout the course of yoga teacher training, you have to teach people to get your teacher certification. And I realized I really love it. And so in addition to my real estate, I do teach yoga about 3 times a month. So I teach once at Patagonia, the 3rd Sunday of every month, um, at Patagonia and Deep Ellum, um, my Teacher, if you happen to attend the creative mornings on ritual, that was my yoga teacher. That's Jessica Jordan. She is my yoga teacher. I, um, yes, I am her pupil and her student. I will always be her student. And, um, yeah, so now I, I love teaching. I make it a point to teach a couple of times a month, so I'm not afraid of it. And Yeah, so in order to be able to do those things, other things fall by the wayside, um, this past year, uh, I don't I don't know if you were, yes, Maddox, I remember meeting you there and Dwight, I believe you were there as well. Um, we had a creative mornings at a creative center and uh we're composting. There were green buckets where you could put in like food waste or that sort of thing. I was the community engagement director for Turn, which is a composting company, and they went out of business. So when that time freed up because I was probably devoting. About 10 to 15 hours to that per week in addition to the um real estate and the other nonprofits that I like to work with. Um, so when turn folded and closed, then it really opened up all this extra time. Do other things. So I'm actually working on my Florida real estate license as well, um, because we have some family that want to purchase some property in Florida. And I thought, well, why not? Why not? Why not get another license? So Texas and Florida, that's on the horizon. And, um, yeah, we just, time management is a thing, um, that I, I have not mastered. So I wake up at 4 in the morning and I go to bed at about If, if it's a good night, I'll go to bed by 10, and the nice thing is I don't really require all that much sleep, and I find that meditation helps me with that, and so that's also something that has had to um Be curtailed is sleep, but not in a bad way, you know, I, I just, I've never really needed all that much sleep since, I mean, I think I'm OK with like 6 or 7 hours. Other people I know need like 8 to 10, and maybe one day it'll catch up with me, but for now I think I'm OK. Famous last words and she crashes. Well, I, I love the way you say that time management is a challenge for you, but I'm, I'm hearing about how you're able to Take part in all the things that really matter. Like you can, it sounds like you do a great job of focusing on what it is that you want to prioritize and lift that up to the top. And, you know, as I'm reminded uh that uh time is one of the seven levers of creativity, uh, described by photographer Chase Jaggers. In, uh, his book on the topic of creativity, um, Never uh play it safe. And the way that you describe your relationship with time management and uh kind of frame it as a failure, I, I can kind of hear how he would frame it as the opposite. Oh. In that, um, uh, a lot of us have been tricked into thinking that we only have so much time and, you know, how do we get things done when another way of looking at it is appreciating that you have the time that you have. And you have to make the most of the moment and fully inhabit it. I think you're right. I need to read that book, um, and full disclosure, I chose not to be a parent. Ever since I was a child, I knew I did not want to be a parent. So I had the good fortune of finding someone who aligned with that value, that desire. So when I met my husband, you know, I think everyone for a split second, who's not quite Certain it's like, oh my gosh, should we have children? And I was like, nope, after that nanosecond pass. I was like, no, no, no, hard pass, no children, because my mother owned um a daycare center whenever we were younger and so that is the best form of birth control between that and Catholicism, where the perfect woman is a virgin. It's like, you know, there is there the writing was on the wall, like, how were they surprised I never wanted children. You know, so, sorry, sorry listeners, I hope that wasn't too much all at once. Never, never. So I want, I wanna visit your biggest challenge, your biggest creative challenge, the thing through through all of it that has maybe you're still challenged with it or maybe you've gotten to the other side of it, but what is the the hardest thing that you've Had to overcome creatively. No, I haven't overcome it. It's still a giant hurdle that keeps going. Um, I have been wanting to publish a book, and this book has changed all throughout. I mean, there's no manuscript that exists because every time I think I have. An outline the idea changes. So, once upon a time, and this could, you know, it could be all of the above, right? So once upon a time, I wanted to write a series of short essays, almost like Mindy Kaling's is everyone hanging out with me or something I forget Mindy, I'm So sorry if you're listening to this, but I forgot the name of your, your first book, and it basically is a ser, a collection of essays from her early twenties and I think maybe late twenties. I thought it was going to be that. And then I thought, I want to write a children's book that says please and thank you in a multiple, like many different languages all around the world with illustrations of all the the customs and the children, how you say it. I don't know if that's already been created. If someone's listening and wants to do that, take that, run with it, go with it, because I think learning how to say please and thank you in every language is absolutely necessary. Um, and now I'm working and I think this is actually this iteration will actually take off, um. A girlfriend and I are working on a book on grief and how to be a friend through grief and how to process it. So she is a very young widow. She lost her the love of her life. They were married for 20 about 20 years, I believe, and he passed due to an illness, um, a couple of years ago, and it was very Difficult for her. I mean, of course, you know, it's always difficult when you lose a partner, but the way in which her core community didn't show up for her was incredibly hurtful. And, um, I have dealt with sudden loss in my family as well. And it's, it was one of my my older sibling, um, died very unexpectedly. And so we're, we're both now working on um the, the outline and a couple of chapters. We're a couple of chapters in already, so we think that will be a pretty good book and I, I'm pretty sure that will come to fruition. Our goal is to publish late 2025, and um the hurdle has been finding the right book to write, and I think with The two of us being accountability partners, it, it will happen. I'm speaking it in existence. Lisa, I'm talking about you, girl. It, it sounds like um a much needed thing for sure. Thanks. Thank you. Yeah, and one of the key components um I'm really going to have on repeat is friendship is an act. Friendship is active, friendship should be a verb, you know, how to be a friend, because when you go through when you go through loss, I mean, many of us don't know what to say, but saying something like, let me know if you need anything, it just You know, show up, show up with flowers, show up with tea, drop it off at the doorstep, just do something, but don't, because if you're almost like if you email everyone you're not, you're emailing nobody because everyone thinks everyone is. Answering or doing what needs to happen, but it, it needs to be specific. Friendship is an act. Friendship requires action, and um, yeah, so thank you. Thank you for validating, uh, the idea. I, I think it will be a really good book. And my therapist, I've already talked to her about it. I, I asked her if she would want to chime in from the clinical. So it's my version, Lisa's version of things, my version of things as a friend, and we'll take turns depending on whose chapter chapter it is. And then our therapist, my therapist actually will um have some words as to this might be this or it could be this or here are some resources that one might want to look at. So I think it's going to be a great book. I think it's just Really important because grief is so misunderstood. You know, when you say the word grief, immediately people think of like an incredible loss, the loss of a loved one. But the truth is we experience grief on a daily basis. You know, if, if you reached out and someone didn't call back, we feel a sense of grief about that or if we've asked somebody to do something with us and, and they have. Rejected us, we feel a sense of grief from that. Grief is just all around us and we're experiencing it almost every day and so. When you can learn to process and work with the everyday smaller reefs, then you have tools to work with when some big loss comes up. And you have real, I mean like real loss. Yeah. And I think the pace at which our lives are unfolding, you know, we're so conditioned to instant gratification, and yes, I am impulsive, so I do have to work on that. I have to take a moment, take a breath before I jump into the next thing. It's kind of different, but in terms of like, we're supposed to get over things so quickly. Oh when am I gonna feel X Y Z? When I gonna, when am I gonna feel normal again? When will this end? When will it stop hurting? I just, there's no prescribed time frame for how to grieve or how long you're supposed to experience this loss, you know, so, um, yeah, I, I hope that when it is published that even if, you know, one person gets some sort of help or finds use in it like it was worth it, you know, it it is worth it as long as it helps just at least one person, one human being, um, cope with how to deal with those things, yeah. So, so do you find that as you write that book. How is that impacting your own grief? It's very cathartic. It's incredibly cathartic, but I'm also, um, Again, it's that privacy that I'm having to balance because it's not just me, because the loss of my older brother also affected my parents and my, my, my other sibling, and so it's um it's it's it's a very delicate balance and there there's some things. You know, I want to be honest in terms of what has happened, but I might have to change some names just out of respect for family members who did not sign up to be part of this book, you know, and given how private my family is, thank. I have a different last name because I'm married, so, um, but yeah, my parents don't know I'm writing this book, so it's OK. They'll they'll just get it when they get it. I mean, this is how I am with my parents, though. I, uh, at one, at one point in my life, I, um. I was working on an accelerated free fall license, meaning I uh was jumping out of airplanes. I wanted to learn how to skydive and skydive on my own. So instead of doing a tandem jump where you're attached to an instructor and you know, they pull the ripcord, all that stuff, I decided it would be so much more fun. I think I was 21, 22, uh, to, at the time it was an 8 hour course, so you took this 8 hour course to learn how to Deploy your shoe, the position box position when you're in the air, what to do if something goes awry. Um, so I did that and before we hopped in the airplane to, you know, Ascend and then hop out. I called my parents on my cell phone and I said, and this was 23 years ago. I said, um, mom and dad, I am about to jump out of an airplane. I'll call you when I land. I didn't want to tell them too far in advance because they would have been a hot mess. And so my mom's like, where are you? And I said, I'm in White Wright, Texas. I'm in Skydive Dallas. If anything bad should happen, they will notify you. And so that was probably like the longest 30 minutes of my parents' life. But as soon as I landed, I called them. So they will not know about this book until it's published. I'll just hand it to them. That's, that's how I operate. God bless my parents. Oh my heavens. I think when they saw me and they're like, oh, she's a sweet little girl. There's, you know, sweet kind. Delicate little flower. Oh no, no, I'm the crazy adventurous one. They, they didn't know you were gonna take them on a wild ride, huh? No, no, and you, they were at the comedy show, they're so cute. Then my mom said, there are some things I didn't understand, but I just laughed because everyone is having a good time. Yeah, they sit right next to me. Oh, you got to meet them, or you were sitting next to them. That's so sweet. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's great that you're making the book uh a shared effort, like you're, you're going in on it with your friend and your therapist, and we believe that community is the solution to almost every problem. Um, and it sounds like you have, uh, ties to several different causes and communities. Um, where, where did, did that come from for you? I think coming from a large extended family, you just don't know any different, um, and there's, although we're large, there's also that privacy, so there there. Not walls, but you have, I'm very good at compartmentalizing. So I have my, my groups, right? So there's my vegan crew, and then there's my real estate crew, and there's my yoga crew, and you know, they're they're, and not to say that they don't cole well, it's just if you're trying to achieve something specific that's a group oriented or that specific community, it helps to be with like-minded goal oriented individuals that are looking at the same trajectory that are looking at the same road map, um. And so I think having a built in large extended family, um, just kind of normalize that whole reaching out. There might be someone else who knows this or that, you know, your, oh your uncle knows this, or your aunt has been to that country. Why don't you ask her, or your cousin's studying in Italy right now. Why don't you contact them about things that are related to, you know, the Sistine Chapel or that sort of thing. Um, but I will also So say, when you find your community, it's, it's really important to be discerning and not to say, you know, you may only hang out with MFAs if you're trying to, you know, whatever. It's just, it doesn't have to be large. Just find a good core group and community community can be as little as 3 people or 2 people, but just someone who shares that goal, shares that vision, and also wants to help lift you up because You might know something that could help that person achieve a certain goal, or they might know something, or they might put you in touch with someone, for example, um, I'm working on a clothing swap, uh, in January, and are you familiar with the idea of a clothing swap? It might, OK, yeah, so for those who are listening who don't know, it's basically where a group of people will bring it in gently used clothing, not brand new, and maybe might be brand new, you just don't want that clothing anymore. So a few articles of clothing, everyone brings a certain number of Articles of clothing and you just change it out, no money is required, um, to exchange the clothing. It's just you're bringing things you no longer want. Someone might be there that wants one of those things and you just even exchange. And at the end of that, if we have any clothing left over, I'll donate it to a nonprofit such as Genesis Women's Shelter. So with that to say, Um, someone has, uh, created that template before, of course it exists. I didn't make it up, but my friend Adriana with useful has done a handful of them, and so I called her and asked her how can I Be successful in creating a good clothing swap. And then one of the very basic things was you need clothing racks, and I thought, oh my goodness, am I gonna have to buy these clothing racks? And then I thought, thought, thought, thought, you know, guess what? I'm really good friends with the people at Patagonia. They're gonna have clothing racks that I can borrow. So it's, it's that sort of community, you know, you can, there's always something, and then I am helping, um, I'm trying to source raffle prizes for this nonprofit organization called Four Down. I love 4 Down. They basically Uh, do a lot of work in food sovereignty and food justice, and um they're hosting a really fun event on December 7th, and I need to get raffle prizes. So I'm reaching out to my community, all of my communities, small business owners, realtors, yoga s yoga instructors, yoga studio owners, um, artists to see if they have raffle prizes that they would like to donate to this this event for 4 down. So yeah, it's all about community and again community can be as little as 2 people, 3 people, or as big as however you want it to be, but be discerning because sometimes you might think that There's an individual who wants to help, but, and maybe they're not intentional and, you know, inadvertently not helping, but just, just be discerning because sometimes there are people who you'll share ideas with and um they they're not uh they don't have the best of intentions. Not to say that that's recently happened, but it has happened to me in the past, so yeah. Yeah, I think it's important also to call out that we're not limited in the number of the number of communities that we can be part of. Yes. Right. Well, we have uh been going for a little bit of time here. I, I don't know if you um have to move on to something else, but we're kind of approaching the point at which we would like to engage in a few rapid fire questions. Go for it. I have 3 rapid fire questions for you for rapid fire answers, OK? Question number one, what was your big dream as a child, the big creative dream? I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I wanted to be Lynda Carter. So you could see me, and maybe that translates into being wanting to be an actress, but I, I truly wanted to be Wonder Woman with invisible plane and the lasso of truth, um, lasso of Justice, all that stuff. So I would march around the house in my mother's thigh-high boots, like some leotard and like a little paper crown. So that was my big creative dream. I love it. I can see that. I can close my eyes and absolutely see that. All right, next question. What is a secret idea you've been sitting on that you haven't taken action on? I can't think, honestly, I can't think of one because when I have an idea, I'm like, let's do it. I'm kind of like that too, so I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, OK, and final question. If you discovered that you had only one day to live, what is the one thing that you would be most proud about looking back on your life? The way I show up for my family, which includes my husband, my brother, my parents, my niece, yeah. Wonderful. So it's it's relationships. Yeah, yeah, I think they're our greatest resource personally. Beautiful. Well, Jennifer, this has been amazing. It's gone by so fast. It has gone by very quickly. Oh my goodness. Loved hearing your story though, you know, we had limited exposure to to you before today and, and now I just feel so like I know so much more about you and, and it was just. Really, really fun to hear your story and your energy. Oh my gosh, yes. We haven't even scratched the surface. We didn't even talk about medical school or anything. I was gonna be the president of the Philippines, but to be continued, we'll do something for later. We, we, we may do a part two. Yeah, your, your energy, if you could bottle that, wow. My therapist says the same thing. She's like, what in the world? I'm like, I don't know, maybe 6 hours of sleep and matcha. I or, but, you know what I always say, vegan. Well, not, not having children that you're raising plays a role in that as well. Yes, agreed. It allows for a lot more time. So I, I, I, my hats off to all the parents have their moms, dads, aunts, uncles who are raising children because it it's one of the most important things you can do, quite honestly, and um, I opted out of that because I know how much work it takes. But I'm a wonderful aunt. I'm a wonderful fun aunt to my little niece, um, and I'm a godparent to my brother's goldendoodles. So, um, yeah, but I, gosh, yes, good, good point, Maddox. It's, and that's why I was intentional about that, you know, thank goodness, um, yeah. Yeah. I, I kind of feel that way, you know, I didn't have any children and I kind of think this lifetime was kind of my time. Maybe in the next lifetime I'll have a whole bunch of kids, but in this lifetime it was kind of my my time. Good for you. Yeah. Well, thank you so much. Thank you both. It's been such a pleasure. I, I've really appreciated this and it's such an honor. Thank you. Well, it has likewise been an honor for you to be with us. Thank you for sharing your time and your beautiful story with us.