#002: Finding Freedom Through Creativity and Community with Emi Matsushita

I'm so glad that we could make this happen and that you could uh share a few moments with us. Yeah. No, I appreciate you guys asking these really good questions and just, yeah, kind of highlighting things in my story that even I even, you know, didn't realize that community was such an important part, but I am I am definitely pursuing it, so I appreciate you guys supporting me in my own journey. This has been simply magical and we just feel very, very honored that you came on today to share your story with us and uh the audience. Hello, Emmy Matsushita. Welcome to the For the Love of Creators podcast. Thank you for having me. Um, did I pronounce it correctly? Yeah, you killed it. You did it so well. I was actually impressed. So yeah, well, I wasn't sure, but I practiced. Well, it worked. Practice made perfect. Well, um, I think I'd like to just start off with saying how we know you. We, we met you via creative mornings. Yeah. And for those that don't know what that is, we will drop a link in the show notes because it's absolutely amazing. We recommend you check it out. We don't miss a single meeting, it's all over the globe. Yes, you're bound to find a chapter near you, so please check it out. So I'm gonna give you the mic and let you introduce yourself, tell a little little bit about yourself, and then we'll we'll jump into some questions. To, um, yes, my name is Emmy. Um, I am many things as a creative soul and creative spirit, um, I guess my first official title would be creative entrepreneur, because that's also how I make my living with all the creative things that I do. I also am an educator. Um, I, just to clarify what kind of creative I am, I'm an artist. I'm a movement artist, um, first and foremost. So I dance, I perform, I creatively direct, I, um, choreograph all these things I facilitate. Um, and so also kind of as an offshoot of that, I educate, so I currently am adjunct faculty at Dallas College and also University of North Texas. Um, and then through my business, I basically coach and consult other artists and embody entrepreneurship. So really having creatives own their value, understand their value, and understand the fact that to be able to, you know, not just create good art to feel good, but To create good art that makes an impact, which is what kind of what we all want. You have to have a little bit of business savvy, you know, business knowledge and acumen to be able to put those into practice, put art into practice basically. Um, and so that's what I do on the side. I facilitate workshops, um, do a lot of arts advocacy. Um, so I create different events around that as well. Um, but yeah, that's me in a nutshell, um, but there's so many other things that we could talk about. Um, I'm also a mom too, so my son is 4. That's a 4 year old son. Yes, so I do all these things because I have a wonderful partner. He's Super supportive of my crazy creative life. Um, so I'm super lucky to be able to have him as like a bedrock. Um, but yeah, that's me. Well, you know, I knew when I read your bio that this was going to be an amazing episode. I can just tell. OK, let's start off with, I would like to know your first exposure to creativity and what that looked like. Oh man, OK. So my first experience of creativity, I mean, we're gonna go back to when I was little. I think, honestly, if I'm truthful, my first experience with it, I didn't know that it was like labeled creativity, because honestly, when you're a child, that is when you're like peak creative, you know, there's no inhibitions. You are just as creative being who's oozing. You know, just authenticity, just boundless creative insights, creative energy, right? So I don't think it's until you're older that you're like, oh, let's we can put a label on that and logically capture that, right? So, when I was little, I wanted to move. I was then naturally a mover. I loved like creating little dances with my brother. We did a little choreo dances with my older brother in the living room, right? Um, even with my friends, um, as I grew up, um. But I think when I was formally introduced to it as like, oh this is what you can do on the side, right? Um, that was when I was about, um, in middle school, so like 11 years old. I, uh, like I said, I was, I was a mover, so I did some gymnastics. I was in gymnastics for a bit and I really enjoyed having that outlet because my family upbringing was a little stressful, a little traumatic. Um, I was taught to play small and to be small, not take up a lot of space. There's just a lot of chaos in my home, and that was kind of the role I decided to take. So I was always editing myself, right? So once I got this opportunity to, you know, use my body more freely, um, gymnastics was a great foundation for that. But then I got introduced to dance in middle school, and I was like, whoa. I can actually like take up space, what with my body and be seen doing it. It was like a really um kind of clunky experience cause I wasn't comfortable really, but honestly, dance ever since that time, it's been with me, and it is so integral to my own personal growth and healing even as an adult now, at 40 years old. So, Yeah, that was my first taste of creativity, which has clearly has evolved um since then. That's amazing. Um, I can totally relate to what it is to have to edit yourself and uh dealing with trauma of, of various kinds. Um, what was it like for you to go through this newfound discovery of what it was to be able to fully inhabit your body and take up space, uh, making it from making the transition from being this little girl that's, uh, so full of this newfound wonder to, uh, find your path into adulthood because I remember from your bio, it seems like you took a, a pretty hard turn away from creativity. Oh, you noticed. Yeah. I mean, I think as like a good child, a good Asian daughter, my father's Japanese, my mom is, uh, from a family of immigrants, Irish, Hungarian. Um, and so, you know, I think it was also my parents' generation, too, on top of the Asian layer, um, to, you know, want to be successful and have a secure job, a good job. So that was very much instilled in me. Um, at a young age to do what everybody else was doing, right, the safe route. Um, and so I was easily persuaded, being the complicit compliant daughter, to like, pursue something that made more sense, right? And it wasn't so risky. I think if I was left to my own devices as an 18 year old Emmy, I probably would have gone to school for dance and like followed that curiosity of like where it would take me, right? Cause I wanted that. Um, I also was like a, a, I was big into art in general. I just loved like sketching and um drawing as well, so I was just a very artsy person, but yeah, I think, again, my upbringing of being don't take up space, do good, be good, you know, just stay the path really was super like rang rang louder than my own gut saying let's do this. Um, and so that's why I went into biology, you know, I went, I went to school at Purdue University in Indiana, which is like a big engineering school, aeronautics as well. Um, and so I, I stuck with it, surprisingly, because there was a lot of interesting things that biology taught me, um, and I still honestly use a lot of the The methods and the theories and the and just the ways of like doing research, like I very much feel like I am a researcher even now as a creative entrepreneur and an artist. Like everything I do has an analytical lens to it, gathering, I'm gathering data, I'm understanding things. um, so not none of it was all for naught, right? Like it just, it's still contributed to who I am today, but yeah, that, that logic logic brain was super loud back then. Um, but I think even with that said, that route of science, I believe, is very much an artistic route, because again, it's a, it's a, it's a form of inquiry and curiosity, and also creative thinking and problem solving. Like, if this doesn't work, then let's try this, or if this is not the answer that we're seeking, why is this the reason? How do we understand that more? So, Yeah, it's funny like everything in my life now makes sense, so I like everything is very integrated, but back then I was like, oh OK, I'm choosing the path of like security and stability versus like crazy chaos create, you know. endless boundaries and all that stuff. So yeah, I don't know if I answered your question, but Oh, you answered it beautifully. There it is. That is awesome. So I mean Let's talk about maybe expand on a little bit of what I perceive as challenges and that is you had this dual thing going on, your heart was drawn to all the creative, but there was family pressure to conform and be a certain way. Talk a little bit more about that please and, and how, how you navigated that because you're clearly on the other side of that now. I'm glad that you say that cause that feels good to like be validated, you know, I, I'm definitely fully embracing my artist self, but it took a super long time. Like, honestly, I feel like, so I mentioned I'm 40, I just turned 40. Um, but it really wasn't until like my 30s, like upper 30s, mid-30s that I started even being comfortable with the phrase I am an artist, like saying that out loud. Like before that I was like, no, I'm not. Impostor syndrome, um, you know, like I was doing all these creative things. I was creating not like something from nothing all the time and thinking differently about things that people would look at the same thing as me and I'm like, wait, you don't see that. But like I just could not embody that, and it that was like a huge challenge for me to overcome. So on the my whole like lifelong trajectory journey of like choosing safety over security or safety and security over like, you know, kind of question marks and fun and play and curiosity, that took a really like um I honestly probably would have stayed that path if if it wasn't for a huge life event. OK, so the thing that like, Change my trajectory completely was when I actually got divorced. So I was married prior to again following the path, right, being a good child, like, I also was raised Christian, um, pretty conservative Christian. The whole like save yourself till marriage thing, you know, we had purity covenants with ourselves and God and um you know, A very like evangelical as well. So, you know, I'm just trying to paint a picture of like what my upbringing was. I went to youth group, had Bible study. Um, and so all of that was another layer of like being good, staying the path, and so that kind of like steered my life into getting married pretty early because I was dating a Christian man, so I was like, wow, what's next? You get married, that's what you do, right? Follow the formula. And then so. I ended up getting married right after college, and honestly I probably would have been continuing going to school cause I just enjoyed being in school, but I chose like the domestic life, I suppose, right? Um, because that was the next step. And then the next step would have been having kids, right? And in my head I was like, OK, everything's like lining up. Everything's Just I'm checking all the boxes. The American formula for success and happiness. I'm doing it. I'm killing it, right? Um, and then all of a sudden we're having problems, granted, like, you know, probably because I wasn't ready, first of all. Uh, second of all, cause I had some like crazy like twisted idea of what marriage was, because also I had like, again, my parents were super, had a very uh chaotic relationship. There was a lot of abuse there. Um, so that that was what I was, you know, being programmed to, to how, how I would have shown up in my marriage. And so there's just a lot of things to unpack that I was not ready for being in this new marriage. So we ended up getting divorced four years later. So that was when I was 27, and that was like literally the thing that like shook me enough to be like, wake up Emmy. This life is not some like formula you like check boxes. Also like your life is your life, not any anybody else's telling you what to do or to accomplish or what accomplishments are valuable over other things, and it like I needed that moment in my life to like basically. Shake everything down to be like, OK, I mean, now start living. Now start living, and I really feel like that not until that point was I like actually feeling like myself, feeling embodied, um, and thank God that dance was there for me cause that that. Um, dance was such an integral tool for me to be able to reconnect with who my core and also help me to redefine who I wanted to be, because now I'm like a single lady, you know, with tons of experience, no less, so it's not like I was just resorting back to who I was prior to marriage, but like now I'm like this whole new Person, I felt like, and so I needed that crazy event to happen, or else I probably would have been on the other side. Well, I mean, probably not, but, but no, like I needed that, that trigger trigger point. I mean, I just want to say that I, I get that you think Colly, that happened late in life, 27, you know, but I, I, I really do think that. You're really fortunate to have gotten it at 27. I mean, we all know people who are at any age that are still living that here's what I'm supposed to do life, you know, and the fact that you've figured it out at 27 and we're able to say, wait a minute. This is my performance. This is my gig, you know, I think that's huge and, and, and I kind of wanna just call that out because I know that there are lots and lots of people out there that are in some on on that continuum somewhere, you know, haven't quite figured out that, hey, this is my life and I get to have it be any way I want. There's something else I also want to backtrack too. You said something a few minutes ago. About having a hard time owning the artists or or the creative. And I, I, I wanna give this some oxygen because I think this is huge. Huge in the creative community. I, I was writing about this, uh, uh, putting together an email the other day where I was talking about how oftentimes it's amazing how many people I talked to that say, oh, I'm not creative. Yeah. Really? You know, I have, I have friends that say, oh no, no, no, I have a creative bone in my body, and I'm like, no, you, you do. We have such a misconception of what it means to be creative or what it means to be a creative, and I think those are two different things. You can be a creative person. We're all creative you get right down to it. We're all creative. But then there is you can own it. You can say I am a creative or I am an artist. I am a dancer or I am create I, I'm an architect or whatever, an interior designer. We want to cover all of the bases of all the different forms of creativity. But there's a lot to be said for owning it. I would love for you to speak on. What shifted for you? When you finally were willing to say. I am an artist, or I am a whatever the term was, whatever that sentence was when you could fully own it, what shifted in your life and in your creative world? Mhm. Oh gosh, I don't know if I could just say that there was like one moment where it all clicked in a line because I I almost want to say that like the more boring answer is that it took a lot of practice and, uh, just reiteration of it. And I will say that the thing that pushed me the most, I love that that this podcast is about community, because I needed to hear from my community, so my friends, my, my mentors, I've had business coaches and Um, you know, other people in my life who've had, um, a lot of who I respect and value, like say things to me that they saw, you know, like I'm just exhibiting these things, but for other people to say that to me, I was like, OK, like again, science ana analysis kind of mode. I'm like, OK, like the data is out there, like all of these things aligned to this hypothesis that I am an artist. OK, cool. I'm getting um qualitative data, you know, quantitative data. I produce things, seen my resume, you know, but like I needed for people to say it to me and then for me to like then take the steps to be like. OK, I get what you're saying. Let me practice this. So people were calling you an artist before you could call you. 100%, yeah, like I basically was creating a life around, you know, dance. Like I was like teaching, I was choreographing, I like managed the uh performance team and like everybody knew me as the dancer and I'm like, you know, building this business around it. But I never even in that point in my life, I was like, I'm not an artist, like, no, you know, so yeah, I needed that like echo chamber I guess or whatever you wanna say. And I needed to also go through this process of saying it out loud, cause like, you know, when you like go through this period in life where you like. Start affirming yourself. Like some people still have a really hard time with looking at themselves in the mirror and being like, I am beautiful, I am loved, right? That never, that's never like a one and done thing where you can like show up one time and be like, I love you, you know, like. If you ask anybody to do that, they're most likely gonna struggle, right? So like that. Exactly. So it just was me having to continue to remind myself of the truth, and also just accept it. So there's a lot of like receiving, opening up my heart, if you will, all the things that you can't necessarily like quantify. But yeah, to answer your question, like, it was, it was definitely a lot of miniature shifts that created a big change, yeah. And, and what was the one thing, or maybe it wasn't one thing, what was it that Made it so hard for you to say I'm an artist. Oh, I think it went back to my trauma, honestly, um, because like I wasn't allowed to be different, you know, I wasn't allowed to take up space. I wasn't. Supposed to, or else if I cause waves, young Emmy was like, if I cause waves, that means more conflict and chaos and like potential for my parents to get another argument, you know, like, you know, just the things that you Construct in your head as a going through traumatic experiences, right? Like it happens to, it doesn't happen to you, you create the meaning behind those experiences. So I think like, in my head, I was like, don't cause waves. Don't be seen. That's very unsafe. You know, you don't wanna be different than everybody else. So it was a lot of healing, you know, that needed to happen to get to where I am now. Beautiful. Yeah. But I think like the universe had a funny way of making me like push me to the front, even when I wasn't ready or accepting of it. Um, so I will say, so I, just in case y'all don't know, I have alopecia. So that's why I have like a funny hair growth pattern. So like I have a little bit of hair up here and I have like tons of real estate, vacant real estate on my, the rest of my head, right? Um, and so what they say about alopecia areata, it's an autoimmune disease that basically there's no reason for it. There's no clear reason for it. It can come up, you know, at any age, they have cases where children have it, um, and in some cases, you know, they get their hair growth back, some, they never get it back, and some of them again, like lose all their hair like. Completely, and then some of them like me, which I have Arita, which means I used to have a little bit of hair. Um, but this autoimmune disease, right, obviously like your body's. Attacking healthy cells, so it's attacking my hair follicle, so that which prevents the growth, but they say the most common reasoning um or explanation for it is that it's from trauma. And I'm like, OK, well, that's probably the case, yes, you know, um, but it's also like, if that's like, you know, it's like it's almost like a funny. No, I don't wanna say a joke cause I'm not, I'm not like like taking this lightly, but like it is kind of a funny joke in in in essence where like the universe is like, oh like you don't want to be seen, I'm gonna make you be seen and it's like kind of because of your trauma, like we're all honestly like we're all trauma you have to traumatized from something in life. So but like for me I'm like I'm wearing my trauma very clearly and like I'm very open about like my experiences and how far I've come. And so when people see me, like, of course I look different, so it's like, oh you, you don't want to take up space like you're already taking up space, you know, so I just think it's like a funny ha ha thing that the universe has done, you know, to like push me to the forefront, even though I'm like, oh, I don't know if I'm ready for it. So now it's like, you know, my own journey of Like I've, I've had alopecia for about, oh gosh, now like 9, 10 years. It basically started coming up right after my um my divorce, like I went through my divorce. So, you know, you could like say that it was like a It followed the, you know, the timeline of events, if you will. But yeah, I just think it's, it's interesting how everything works out, you know? And like, for me, I choose to see the, the, the best in this cause I'm like, well, I have a good head. I have a good size head, you know, and it's great for branding, it's good for recognition, like people know me, you know, people who don't even know me, they're like, oh, you're that that girl. I'm like, yes. It, it's, it's your signature, you know, it makes you stand out in a crowd and um it's, it was obvious to me when I first met you that you, you work it, girl. Yes, you wear it very well. I mean, for those that are listening and not privy to the visual part of this, she's got dangly earrings on and she's absolutely beautiful. I got little bald head, so, but yeah, it is what it is. Yeah. Or Thank you. Yeah, thank you for, for sharing so vulnerably because, you know, had you not told me that, I, I would have thought that that was a conscious choice. Like, um, I was thinking, you know, it's something that you worked at and you cultivated and you just wanted it to, like it was, it was your signature. Oh man, that'd be so much work. I mean, it's already, it's already a lot of work kind of because I like, I have to shave it every now and then, but um, yeah, I'm such like a low maintenance person that I'm like. I cannot. Not having to contend with a hairdo freed you up to do other creative things. Yeah, see, efficiency. No hair, don't care. Oh, I, I think it's wonderful that you have made the experiences that you've carried, um, not be wasted. Like everything that you've, that you've experienced with the trauma, with the stress, with the divorce, uh, it's not something that defined you, but it's something that helps to Help you to become who you are. And uh it takes a certain kind of maturity to embrace the scars and make it so that they can uh make you more whole. And I think it's beautiful that you're You know, through what you've been through, um, even, you know, just I remember our first interactions, I just remember being really taken by your light, your kindness. And uh it was, you know, just such a joy to be in your presence. Oh. Yes, your warmth and friendliness came through like immediately. You know, we, we have this thing that we do when we meet people, you know, like. Oh, she's our people. Our little like feelers putting our feelers out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So I would um I kind of want to tie this back again to. and we don't have to go into a lot of detail, but just. The community aspect. Can you speak just a little bit more about your, your belief about that intersection of creativity and because we know a lot of creative people are very, very solo and, um, the whole point of this is to, to get creatives to realize that there's a better way. So please share your experience and speak to that. Yeah, I mean, I guess like. Oh man, where does it even begin? I think, I mean, I made a good point before about even getting to the point where I was like, claiming comfortably that I was an artist. It really required that I lean on community to be able to make that first assessment, and then also that acknowledgement, and then, you know, over time embody it. Um, but for me, community is just super important because even just as I've gotten older, as an adult, and I've like, Had more needs, I guess, not that. We don't have needs when we're children, but like, you know, I think in this day and age is, you know, in the context that we're in, um. We're, we're taught to like silo ourselves a lot and to also like if you ask for help, it's kind of weak, or like, you don't have your, your, your stuff together because I don't know if I'm allowed to curse or not, but, um, you know, you don't have your your shit together, right? So like, it's almost a bad thing to ask for commun community support or help, but like that's like to our detriment because we're such innately. You know, we're mammal beings that like mammals are all in community. Um, and they, they thrive in connections and relationships, right? And so like our core nature relies us or like is reliant on the success of building these connections and Um, Building bridges with other people and it's not that like. It doesn't have to be transactional, right? It doesn't have to be like, I give you this, so you give me that. And there always has to be like this and that, this and that thing because then again, that's like not the purpose of a a relationship, and that's not how value is actually received and derived from relationship. Um, I think it takes a lot of maturity to understand that, you know, the depth of relationships. Aren't like equal as well, like us being real that like sometimes, you know, you can give. In a sense, to somebody who's not able to receive or not able to receive it or return it in a way that might be equivalent, but knowing that like we're all interconnected and like us just doing this action. Maybe is like giving back to us internally, even way more than that person could actually physically return to us, you know, like we just have to like think outside the box about like the concept of like. Community and relationships, but with the conversation of creativity and how, how that, how community affects me, even now, I mean like, I I like seek out community when I'm doing creative projects because for me, I love, first of all, I love collaborative projects. Every single thing I've done recently has been collaborative. Like I, the gigs I get is because somebody knows me and we are friends, so we You know, I, I'm given the opportunity to do this or that, or it's, it's not like I'm like, I'm not sending my resume out to people and like asking for jobs, you know, I get, I get jobs because I just trust that, you know, people know me. I don't have to sell myself really, like it just happens, and so my network, you know, Just keeps procuring all these different creative opportunities and creative connections where I'm always like, oh cool, I love what you're doing. Let's do it together, and how can we work together to make something beautiful versus just making something by myself. Um Yeah, I mean, I could talk on and on about community because it's so just so important, um. Because For creatives in particular, right, when we talked about this before we hit record, but like we are just so sometimes stuck in our little creative bubble and our creative juices that, you know, our energies kind of can be up here and so you need somebody to be like, hey, let's, you know, come back, come back to earth a little bit to put things into perspective or Or, you know, if you're not, if you're not good at, you know, taking initial steps on your airy fairy ideas, then you're gonna need to partner with somebody who's gonna help you like translate it into actual practical steps. You know, so there's just so much, so much benefit that can happen in community, um, creatively, but humanistically, right? That like, yeah, it just goes beyond. Goes beyond, honestly. I, I believe that people are our greatest resource. Yes, 100%. Relationships in particular, not just people, but relationships are our greatest resource. Yes. That honestly is my biggest asset, I feel like nowadays as an adult. I feel like you've already spoken to this mostly, but is there anything else you'd like to add about just where you are now, your current level of success as a creator. Um, oh man, um, I mentioned this before, but like, as a creative, like, I'm always gonna be inspired by whatever, right? So, like, the ideas, you know, are never in scarcity, you know. And then, on, on the flip side, like, I can never take action on all these ideas, you know, but, but I think When I have an idea and somebody else has an idea, and I'm able to find synergy in that, and then we can make it happen together, like that gives me so much more satisfaction and joy, um, than anything that I would have done on my own. And so, because I have that now, like, clear in my mind that like, I need to work in community, like before I I Before when I started, you know, being a creative entrepreneur, I'm like, I need to do everything by myself. And I took a couple of years to be like, I need to do the grind. I need to hustle, hustle, hustle, make things happen, da da da, build my website, build this sales funnel blah blah blah, social media, da da da da. And now I'm like, I'm over it. No, because like I'm not supposed to do everything in any, like anything and everything. And so now I'm at a point in a season in my life where I feel like I'm, I'm just seeking to be in partnership and community. Um, with people, you know, who, who are my people, right, but we're also working towards this common goal. And so because of that like shift energetically, where I'm like, OK, I need to operate as a human and a business and a creative in community. How do I do this? I don't know, but universe, help me. And because of that shift, I feel like there's been so many different opportunities that have popped up because of that. Um, and so thanks to my, yeah, my network in my community, which is, like you said, my hugest asset. As far as my life in general, um, I've come across so many different opportunities I never really would have like even imagined, you know, like, next, um, year, I have a bunch of different events booked already for me, um, as a creative entrepreneur, I'm performing in Florida. I'm performing. Um, at a movement festival in Arkansas, I'm taking a tour through Korea with a choral group. Like all of these are collaborative projects that I wouldn't have been able to create on my own, but it's happening because I'm in constant connection with my community and my, you know, intentions are pure and, um, Yeah, just open a receptive to it all. So I, uh, yeah, I feel like a lot of my successes recently are because of my people. Shout out to you know, I, I'm, I'm hearing my I think my takeaway from what you're saying right now, my personal takeaway is that community is the bridge to opportunity. Yeah, low key, yeah. Yeah. And I, and I hate like when we're in like business entrepreneurship mode, we use the word networking, which I hate that word because it makes, yeah, it makes it the N word. Yeah, we we we literally say we don't say the N word. What? No, but like that word, uh, that word is terrible when you say it too creative because you're like, oh, I'm, I'm being fake. It's like you're like being selfish or self-centered or whatever, but like, no community like authentic connection with others. That's that's yeah 100%. Let's do some rapid fire questions. What do you say? OK, OK, I'm ready. I, I'll, I'll go first and then Dwight Dwight, I hope you have one, and I maybe have another one if we need. We're we're, we're shooting from the hip here. OK, let's go. My first question is, if you could go back in time. And speak to the young Emmy at whatever age you choose. What words of wisdom would you share with young Emmy? Oh my God. How old would Emmy be? OK. You Emmy would probably be like 4 or 5 years old, and I would just dote on her. I would just say, you're beautiful, you're lovely, you're perfect the way that you are. Don't hide your light, shine on, have fun, dance around, do whatever makes you feel good. I love you. I love it. I love you. I love you. I love you. That's what I would say. Beautiful. I love it. I, I want to, to go in the opposite direction. When you think about what it is to have breathed your last breath, when you look back on everything that you will have done in your life. What is it that you want to be remembered for? What do you want to be your legacy? Um, I don't know who, uh, who has, who says this quote, but it's something about like, most people won't remember. Remember what you said, but most everybody will remember how you made them feel. Something like that. And so I want my legacy to just be like, Everybody who I'm able, who I've been able to physically come in connection with. Um, that they'll remember that they felt alive because of being in presence with me, and I'm not trying to be like I affected them, but like my low key like Um, goal in life. Like, I'm on my own path of like connecting with myself and being my best self, and that is what I want others to do. That is what I hope. I want to inspire others to be their best, fullest version of their selves, like taking up space and like owning it, right? And so I can just like sprinkle some fairy dust. So that every time I come in contact with somebody that they're like triggered in the best way to be like, I want to be my best version of myself. Then like Done. You model that. Yeah, I, I try that for those around you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Mm. So final question of the day. OK. What's your superpower? Oh my gosh! What's my superpower? I mean, honestly, I think it's just like Being curious and playful. Because I think like with curiosity. Um, and this like eager spirit to like know things, like you're always gonna stay young, you're always gonna stay relevant cause you're always like on this quest to understand and like ask questions and see what's around this corner, who's up there? I don't know, let's see, you know, and then like the playfulness of it, like, why not? You know, like, everyone's stuck in this like crazy programming sometimes that I'm like, Can you just like stand up and wiggle? Most people can't, they don't feel comfortable, but I'm just like, if I can always like take any opportunity to be a little goofy and playful, then like I am living life, literally, you know, your inner child for sure. Yeah. I have to be Yeah. Do anything you'd like to add? No, I, I just want to say this has been a wonderful experience. I'm so glad that we could make this happen and that you could uh share a few moments with us. Yeah. No, I appreciate you guys asking these really good questions and just, yeah, kind of highlighting things in my story that even I even, you know, didn't realize that community was such an important part, but I am. I am definitely pursuing it, so I appreciate you guys supporting me in my own journey. This has been simply magical and we just feel very, very honored that you came on today to share your story with us and uh the audience. Oh, well, thank you guys, and thank you everyone who's listening and hopefully you guys get some of that. Fairy dust in your life. I'm, I'm open to receive. Awesome.